When Your Partner Does Not Love You Back

Have you ever been in love with some that never loved you back? No matter what you do, this individual will never say it, but support you in a patronizing way.  The best course of action is to stop your pursuit and cope with the situation until you can get out.  This will allow you to detach and break the emotional bond.  It is important to do this in order to save your romantic energy for someone actually worth it.  One routine sequence of human behavior is that your love for this person will restrict your actions to move on with your life.  They may actually use your “love” as an anchor to keep you in the situation by giving morsels of interest.  They want to actually be with someone better than you, but would probably, but not always like to keep you as a fall-back.

Unlike the confused person, these people know exactly what they are doing because they deliberately fail to say the three words “I Love You”, and actually use you for convenience such as sex, a place to stay, or moral support of some sort.  In other words, their agenda is a bout them and no matter how much money you spend, or what they desire, it will ever equal to being good enough.  In fact, they will get to a point of expecting more loyalty from you than they are willing to give and of course being used is part of the process.  They may want to use terms such as having their freedom, wanting to meet other people, or anything else, but if you propose to end the relationship, they are quick to object.  “Why should they ruin a good thing for them?”  One thing to understand about relationships is that when the sex and intimacy stops, a loss of respect is coming shortly and then a proposal for becoming friends.

If your partner cannot say “I Love You.” back to you, then it is time to move on, because you are wasting good energy on a bad situation.  One thing to be mindful about people like this is that they will perpetually seek out others no matter who they are with and fidelity is commonly and issue.  So in retrospect, you are not losing anything being without this person, but gaining your self-respect and saving emotional capital for a better person who can appreciate you.  The premise for this behavior is usually based on a bad past relationship that had nothing to do with you, but you are stilled judged by the legacy.  The fear for them is that he or she is missing out on life and that for some reason the expectation is that a new set of circumstances are better than the one you he or she is currently dealing with in the relationship.  The only thing that changes is that the new relationship sought is not routine and they are not familiar with the work associated with potentially sustaining it.   However, in many cases if things fail to workout, they may try to come back later or at least attempt to have updates on your life.

The main message here is to not allow yourself to become the fool and was time, emotions, and dignity on a pointless relationship.  Having a piece of a relationship is not worth the headache, and remember when the sex dies a good portion of the relationship is dead.


Grandmother & Grandson Have Child

Incest is one of the most taboo subjects to address when it comes to relationships and most people with a firm moral compass would never consider such a feat. However, there are those like Pearl Carter,age 72, and her 25 year-old grandson Phil Bailey. Even though the though of such a union is deplorable, we should not single these two people out because there are millions that do this unfortunately. The original article was written in the New Idea Magazine out of New Zealand and reported by Alex Watts of sky.com. The grandmother is said to have arrangements with a surrogate to carry their baby. She asserts in Watt’s article that she is firm in her commitment to the grandson and is anxious to create a family with him. The irony is that she at age 18, put up her grandson’s mother for adoption. After the demise of his mother, the grandson sought out the grandmother and as most would say “one thing lead to another”. Pearl revealed to New Idea Magazine that it was an instant attraction that aroused her dormant sexual desires. She admitted that after the second week she made the initial move on her grandson. She called him into the bedroom after dinner and wine and kissed him expecting some sort of rejection, but was surprised that he kissed her back. Phil revealed his attraction to older women and professed his love for Pearl. Supposedly, the couple paid US$54K for a surrogate and with that said, they both believe that it is a viable relationship with her being a mother once more at age 72.

Now, there are several dynamics at play here that should be addressed.  First of all the consideration of such a relationship is disgusting to be rather blunt.  However, the one common denominator is Phil’s mother and Pearl’s daughter in that with her loss there may be a void.  Pearl had to give her up at age 18 more than likely because of the social pressures of the time.  As with most women, they usually bond with a child or some my actually give the child away at birth unseen to avoid the attachment.  In any case the is a sense of resentment or guilt associated being in a situation of that nature at the time.  The implications are that in a sense she has lost precious moments and times with her child and never could make up the years lost.   It could be possible that this situation has more to do with her trying to right a wrong more so than just only falling in love with her grandson.  As well, Phil may find comfort in connecting with someone close to him.  However, these sentiments could possibly be misdirected in the sense of having a relationship with a relative.  Instead, it would come down to probably having some professional counseling and discover that void in the relationship that may have in fact caused the union.

An article in The Guardian titled Genetic Sexual Attraction addresses some of the issues that are symbolic in the case of Pearl and Phil.  According to the article 50% of long lost relatives separated at birth result in obsessive emotions upon reunions.  There remains much debate about this theory among some of the great minds in psychology, but there are some similarities here.  There are numerous resources both pro and con about the causation of such relationships between relatives, but one thing is clear, despite the disdain and psychological predispositions they manage to find a harmony that most of us would not understand at face-value or through any other method.  You may click on the photo to read the original post.

Thirst Discipline

Ladies, how many times have you posted a selfie on Instagram or Facebook and there has been this one guy that has to compliments you on every thing you do?  That guy is definitely the one to avoid at all cost because he is thirsty for you.  Why so? Can you imagine if he had access to you 24/7? You would get sick of the compliments and his talking so damn much.  Yes, ladies the thirst is real.  Now. these guys usually try to out-post other guys and will defend you even when you are clearly in the wrong.  A guy that is this weal will literally allow you to run all over him without a second thought.

Most of use ladies consider these guys as losers and at best they might get into the “Friend’s Zone” or remain unfriended on the account.  You should not get it twisted and diss every guy that tries to add you on a friend request, because there are some that are legit.  I used to look at this pics they would send placing their peni against 16 ounce cans and bottles.  We should tell them that is not impressive for sexy ladies that can get a man with one clothed photo.  A guy may be well-hung, but may not know how to use his tool.

Another cliché I see a lot is the guy that has the car in his photo.  It seems that if they do not have a big penis, a big ego would compensate, “Not!”  Guys, please quit asking to text us if you do not know how, there is a reason, “We don’t know you on social media!”  Save it sending those tired ass links of videos with you beating your manhood, because it is pitiful to be that lonely and unwanted that you are literally screwing your own hand.

The guy that gets noticed will be the gentleman that conducts himself that way and even though some of us ladies may lie to ourselves that stretch-marks, side-boobs, and back-fat is sexy, remember some of you pasted that it was and so we think we go it going on.  Most of us post on social media for attention as Jausan and Tommy Sotomayor say.  It is all about attention and nothing more, because this is the only place we can be admired without having some creep trying to feel up on us.

I personally love wearing my thong and tee-shirt on Facebook and watch guy put me in the pedestal, because I know I will always have a fool or two out there willing to pay my bills and buy me gifts if I so desire.  Sorry guys, it is true even though I could never bring myself to use a dude, I can say that some of the offers are tempting.  My advice to guys on social media is to be a man an share more than pics of your weak ass penis because I know yall get tired of seeing our fake or fat asses wearing booty-shorts, tatted-up and wearing yards of weave.  In any case keep trying and maybe some girl will give you some ass because they feel sorry for you, but not me.


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Love & Crisis

Love & Crisis
“where fantasy meets reality”
by Jausan | © 2014 All Rights Reserved.
Santa Clarita, California

Couples may enjoy romantic bliss and the trappings of comfort while things are progressing rather smoothly, but fail to consider each members role during times of crisis. It is true that it is difficult to gauge the potential reaction of a partner and therefore it is better to stack the future in your favor in certain cases. During an informal poll of about 15 couples, we discovered that only five of them would remain together if one of the members became ill or was injured in an accident. The common theme among those that would not hang around was that they had lives to live, they did not sign-up for the complexities of illness while others mentioned that they would leave depending on the severity of the illness. However, the interesting finding was that three of the couples had a mutual agreement that if one became ill that the relationship would result in termination. Even though the couples committed themselves to each other, twelve of the couples admitted to having certain conditions that would end the relationship immediately.

  • Infidelity
  • Illness
  • Death
  • Boredom
  • Family Disputes
  • Drugs & Alcohol
  • Seeking a better standard of living with someone else.

Above are some of the conditions given for fleeing a relationship that are solely without compromise.  The interesting reality from the findings was that women more so than men established these terms within the twelve couples.  Another shock was that the three couples that chose to stick it out were together for more than five years and unwed.  Five of the twelve couples were married with children.  Two of the couples revealed that they are together, but outside of the basic interactions between men and women, meaning sex, intimacy, and economic conditions remained parameters that kept them together.  In this very small sampling we can see what is occurring at least among these fifteen couples.  “When asked the question, “How important is the personal pursuit of your own happiness independent of your partner?”, the responses trended as did the overall results meaning that the twelve couples were together for more reasons than love.  The follow-up question was “If you had a choice to leave your current relationship for a better opportunity with some else, would you?”, again the results were the same with eight of the women and one of the men  fell into agreement with all members being from the group of twelve.

The question of sex was brought up, “If your partner was incapacitated and could no longer perform in the bedroom, would you leave or stay?”  No surprises there with twelve couples choosing A) Leave.  When asked verbally about the rationale, the sentiments were the same that life was too short to basically deal with a long-term crisis in respect to denying their own fulfillment.  Ironically, when I flipped the question and asked, “Would it be okay if your partner left you in such a situation, would it be okay?”  All fifteen couples answered B) No.  It did not take a rocket scientist to discover that despite the conditions, each member valued herself and himself over their partner.  Needless-to-say, this brought bout a discussion that triggers a few arguments among the couples.  The fact was they preferred to become the decision-maker over being the party trusting a partner with their fate.

One female participant that deliberately stated and asked me to refrain from using her name mentioned the following, “If his test comes back positive for cancer I will have to go.”  This was a very hard thing to hear as her spouse remained silent and the rest of the group erupted in protest and disdain toward the woman.  The main take-away that I learned from this experience is that love is very much conditional despite words and cliche’.   All parties in a relationships are subjected to a perceived value or worth to the other partner that may not measure up to a level of  warranted commitment.

    Dating The Floater

    Dating The Floater
    “where fantasy meets reality”
    by Jausan | © 2014 All Rights Reserved.
    Santa Clarita, California

    A Floater is a term that many people may not be familiar with, but in fact it is the definition of a person who has a superimposed time clock on dating and life and view long-term relationships as a waste of time. The goal is to pursue a life of happiness even if they do not know what that means. In most cases the the Floater sleeps around discreetly in the hopes of hitting it big with someone that is financially stable and they are physically attracted to in all senses of the words. The downside is that they usually get who they want, but the person they get are not as interested in being with them.

    One major issue is that these people prefer to mingle and ensure they are single and available for every opportunity that they can think can enhance their lives. Do not mistaken them for players or whores, because they are not that sophisticated, but aimlessly wander about going from guy to guy or woman to woman until finding someone to latch onto for the long-haul.

    Who are these people? Usually, they are people that feel as though they have missed out on some portion of life due to an obligation or situation. In fact, these people feel as though for some reason the pleasure in life will extend their lives. In short, they want to hurry up and date until they find a person to slow down with at some point. This is a dangerous game in the sense they are rarely loved because of their nature to bore quickly and live life according to a superimposed time-clock because no person knows when their time is up. Another factor is that these people will go through the motions toward a relationship and then spring the independence card later.  This behavior is impulsive and these people exercise poor judgment with men and women when it comes to selecting a final destination in relationships because they know what to look for to suit physical needs, but not when it comes to sustainable relationships.  They are usually divorced once, twice, or more based on superficial reasons, impatient, lack the ability to think beyond the last personal consideration, and rarely consider others unless it is going to impact their own life experience.  And one last note, they will use superficial reasons to exit a relationship for another romantic possibility.

    You can think of these people as the high-stakes gamblers when it comes to relationships with the exception being they bet on themselves that the other person will lose.  One harsh reality that these people face is when a potential suitor actually ask the question, “What is this person actually worth to me in a relationship?”  usually it will be expenses and sex only in many instances.  A wiser mind would understand that he or she could get a better value with someone a bit more solid and focused besides a person with a survivalist mind-set.  The Floater has no problem meeting someone over the Internet and hopping on a plane to meet them with little more than a phone call.   They actually seek someone to take care of them until the next opportunity for them to exploit due to their short romantic attention span. 

    They break-up with people based on harsh criticisms founded in marginal things they make broader in context.  Their goal during break-ups is to just move-on and crush the pursuit of them by the last suitor.  Unfortunately, there are fools that will pursue them only to get hurt.  The Floaters are known to cause drama in the sense of leaving lose romantic ends from past relationships that come about to haunt them later.  Sorry to say, but Floaters are up there with the Confused Daters as some of the worst people to encounter because they waste times, emotional capital, and time even though they would like for you to think they are under a timeline.  Usually, these women and men are people that are trying to correct their mistakes of the past in the present and future.  If you were to think of relationships with these individuals, it would be classified as junk-food, good for energy and lousy for nutrition.  If you ever encounter on these the best practice is to avoid them or just have sex with them only.  Another parting characteristic they posses is the insistence of having separate domiciles so that they can visit using your residence as a mini vacation spot with conditions that you call them in respect to your visiting their residence.  Also, more than likely there are an array of men and or women they have slept with they may linger on friends-list on social media.  The majority of them are also infamous for having these friendships as a back-up if things fail.  Good Luck in your dating pursuits.

    Does Penis Size Matter to Women

    There has been a long-standing argument about how long a man’s penis has to be to satisfy a woman. As we understand each woman is different and there is not a iron-clad answer to this question; however according to an article published by Rachel Rettner of The Huffington Post, there are two schools of thought among women regarding this issue. The article titled Penis Size Study Shows Women Want One Thing For Flings, Another For Long Relationships underscores that women prefer a more girthy penis for sexual flings or one-night-stands that actually measured less than 6.5 inches long. The interesting thing is that the 41 women in the informal study chose penises that were 4 inch long with 2.5 inches in circumference to 8.5 inches long to 7 inches in circumference. Even though the women handled 33 different model penis sizes,

    Shannon Leung of UCLA conducted the study and presented the findings of the study and concluded that the women preferred a penis with wider girth to stretch the vagina which forces the clitoris closer to the penal shaft for better stimulation during penetration which leads to orgasm. Also, it was discovered that longer penises caused women more discomfort due to pressures applied to the cervix. So one could interpret this to mean that a penis between 4 – 6.5 inches long with a girth of about 5.5 inches in girth would satisfy the average woman. However, statistics does not the truth make.

    According to another earlier 2012 study on women and penis size, 60% of a about 300 women polled agreed that penis size did not matter to them for sexual satisfaction. However, the other 40% parted ways in the sense that they preferred longer penises for vaginal orgasms. So now we can see a distinct pattern for women and penis size based on the information provided in the sense that there are those that prefer clitoral orgasms and those that prefer vaginal orgasms.

    In other words stimulators and penetrators. Proportionality also plays a big in role in that women in the study preferred larger or taller men for longer penis sizes. One interesting finding from Leung’s study was that the 41 women examined and held 3D Model penises and were allowed to choose their favorite and study it for 10 minutes before tossing it back into a bin containing all of them. When the women were asked to retrieve the one the selected, the majority could not and actually retrieved a much smaller penis than first chosen. This study remains unpublished and was conducted at the UCLA’s Sexual Psychophysiology and Affective Neuroscience (SPAN) Laboratory. In short, what the implications are is that depending on a women’s best way of to achieve orgasms determines the size of a penis which may also dictate the physical characteristics of men when choosing a mate.

    For instance shoe-size, hands, heights, muscular build, etc. Of course there is no direct correlation to penis size or guaranteed orgasm for women, but longer penises are still desired if not warranted by many women seeking a vaginal orgasm.  There is some merit to the popularity of African-American men being sought by Caucasian women, especially married ones specifically for this purpose.

    Our New Online Community is Coming Soon!

    We have decided to finally move the community once and for all, combining all of the satellite sites under one umbrella for better management and content handling. This means that by June 7th, 2014 http://romantictruth.wordpress.com will be discontinued and http://romance.jausan.org will be the new community for fresh content and information regarding relationships. The new community is absolutely free and allows us more flexibility in content presentation and accompanying features. Our goal is to make a more comprehensive environment for our members that will include groups, a calendar, faqs, glossary, member profiles, friends lists, inbox messaging, status updates, and much more. These services will never have a fee or membership cost associated with them in that the purpose of our community is to provide a free environment for expression.

    CDC Study Shows 10 Worst States for STD’s

    Jausan Logo CDC Study Shows 10 Worst States for STD’s
    J A U S A N ®
    “a private online community since 1995”
    by Jausan | © 2014 All Rights Reserved
    Santa Clarita, California

    Even though sexually transmitted diseases are in the minds of those that are on the dating scene, there still are some concerns to consider.  There are 10 states according to the Center for Disease Control that are exposed to a higher risk of sexually transmitted disease.  It should be noted that even though these statistics are rather shocking, the people of these states cannot be judged as a whole based on the information.

    image   According to the Center for Disease Control, the following states have the highest numbers for cases of Chlamydia, Gonorrhea, and Syphilis.  Based on the ranking from 1 being the worst to 10 being the least of the 10 worst states. 

        Some of these transmission can be avoided by proper healthcare check-ups and early diagnoses along with sexual education.  Another problem is that with the exception of New York state and Illinois the majority of the cases are in the South.

         When we look at statistically whoa re the people getting infected the most, there are two parallels non-college educated men and women under the ages of 35 that are either considered impoverished or lower-middle-class.  A high number of these individuals are minorities even though they are not the majority infected.  It just so happens that the numbers are high within the African-American communities and rural areas.

        These statistics on the chart shows the riskiest states beginning with Louisiana at number 1 and it tapers down from there.  As suggested by these statistics, a condom and safe sex practices are essential in these regions or any other region for that matter.  interesting how many states did not make it in the top 10 that you would have expected due to population. 

    The Truth About Swirling

    Jausan Logo The Truth About Swirling
    J A U S A N ®
    “a private online community since 1995”
    by Jausan | © 2014 All Rights Reserved
    Santa Clarita, California


         Swirling is the modern term for interracial dating between a Caucasian and an African-American.  This practice is once again popular with a different name, and broader participation.  Race has been a contentious topic in the United States, a subject that is omitted in most conversations.  However, this article is not about race, but about the relationships between the different cultures within the same geographic area.  The main difference in today’s interracial dating climate is the larger number of African-American females and Caucasian females open to interracial dating.  However, one of the main differences is the demographics.  The Caucasian females are generally older than the number of African-American females experiencing the swirl.  The rationale behind this has to do with experiences.  Many of the Caucasian women in these relationships are usually divorced and are ready for a change in the sense of their dating practices/  Most often they have fatigue from meeting expectations of other such as family and peers and now they want to live for themselves.  A new found independence.  African-American females are rather new to scene based largely on the shortage of eligible African-American men to date.  These women are younger spanning from their twenties up to their forties.  These women care not to wait around for the African-American man to save the day as many did in decades past.

         Caucasian and African-American men are now pursuing dating and marriage opportunities in the swirl and unlike the women, the demographics range broadly.  One thing that Caucasian males have faced in the past with African-American women was their devotion to only marry and or dating African-American men.  However, African-American men have always dated and married Caucasian women both publically and discreetly.  The overtones of a past rocky racial history keeps many people from experiencing the swirl.  It is not that Americans are racist as some would think, but has more to do with peer pressures and the potential hardship for off-spring growing up in such a divided environment.  Naturally, when those envision interracial relationships, the lowest common denominator comes to mind i.e. negative stereo-types.  However, the majority of those involved in these relationships are well-versed and fully understand the challenges they face.

         The wrong approach to swirling is to use it as a means of separation from people within your own ethnic group because society will always classify you a member of that group based solely on you outward appearance.  Skin-bleaching, proper diction, blond hair-weaves and the like will never  substitute how society see you.  The racial problems stem from the personal preferences within people and some may appreciate the efforts while others find it laughable.  An interracial relationship is not a place where you should look for an identity even though some still do.  Another issue that minority women face when in these relationships is the discrimination among their partner’s peers and social environment if they have never been exposed to people of other races and classes.  Ethnic men face this same situation with one exception, in general statistics back up the success-rate of them in respect to the number of millionaires and billionaires.  The connotation is that there is very little influence if not on a certain level of power.

         Another issue is that some people marry and date within the swirl for totally economic reasons and therefore they may playa zero sum game.  This is more or less tangible rewards in exchange for personal dignity.  We have seen these examples with Don Sterling for instance with a mistress that was exposed to racially charged outbursts, but chose not to leave the first time she heard them.  The premise of course was it did not serve her to leave the first time she heard these things, but to wait until her livelihood was threatened in order to bring these things to light.  The woman presented herself as an innocent party that happened to record the remarks over a period of time; however, it was recently revealed that she was not fond of African-Americans according to her former class-mates.  In short, the price to pay in these arrangements based on greed and status is ones dignity and self-respect using the group of which they are a member when things can best serve them.

         When O.J. Simpson was acquitted, African-Americans did not lift a finger beyond the clips you saw at some black churches.  The community disassociated O.J. decades prior and had no interest in him or the outcome (notice no riots over him).  This is the sort of isolation that is to be expected with an interracial relationship among ethnic groups because money and peers is the fools currency used to make one think they are in a higher strata of society.  Despite. the cliche’ of that was in the past, interracial relationships remain difficult to maneuver whether it is called the Swirl or any other term in the next 1,000 years.  Comfort-zone is the key and until you can find a partner who respects you and loves you regardless of racial differences, you are just wasting time going against society.  The love and respect in these relationships have to be mutual and 50/50.  Trivial attractions such as social class, wealth, and having a “pretty baby” are all symptoms of the problem called low self-esteem.  Meeting a person and being with them because you love them outweighs anything society can throw your way.

    One last note, the bond of you relationship has to be able to endure the criticisms of society and both parties should be on the same level without one being higher due to wealth or otehr characteristics that are childishly applied.