One Woman’s Take on Masturbation & Marriage

My husband and I have been married for almost 10 years now and masturbation is an important part of our marriage.  It was not easy at first, because I used to think when my man did it,another woman was on his mind.  Seeing and hearing his meat flapping at night after we had sex made me feel inadequate.  After he came and I orgasmed, I thought things were done for the night.

Well, being much younger and not knowing, I took it as an insult and labeled him a jerk of the highest level.  I thought it was inconsiderate and selfish.  After making him feel bad and emasculating him for it verbally, I found myself in the worse of moods all of the time.  One night, I woke up as he was stroking hi enis and turned the light on one night and asked him about masturbating.  That was the moment things changed for us.

My usual routine was to put the pillow over my head to drown out the sounds of his moans and to make sure that none of jis sperm saturated the sheets.  However, on this particular night, I pulled up the hem f my night-gown, open my thighs and matched him stroke for stroke with my clit.

He took my hands from between my thighs and guided it over his manhood.  I noticed immediately that he was far more erct than he was inside me only hours earlier.  He wiggled his fingers deep inside me and I guided his hand into the right spot that sent fireworks through my body.  We laid beside each other until I was so wet and he was so hard that sex was the only cure.

From that moment forard, it has become and esential part fo our sexual ritual and one that extends the pleasure in the bedroom.

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Bedroom Activities Exposed on a Spreadsheet

People usually try to use discretion in their bedroom activities, but in this case in activities.   The biggest challenge is for those in relationships to avoid the temptation of broadcasting issues within it to the world.  A man on Reedit.com did just that against the wisdom of dating in order to shame his woman into having sex.   Below is a copy of the spreadsheet that the husband c

nosex

Of course this is rather extreme, but we can think of a man being refused sex in a relationship much like a woman being refused by a man to spend a dime on her. However, if the latter prevails, women are more apt to leave the relationship, including divorce. But men being denied sex is considered an acceptable from of control which allows men to remain in the hopes of getting it at some point. As mentioned in articles before, sexual denial in committed relationships is a form of disrespect much like that of a man or woman completely closing the wallet and therefore, “What is the point of being together?”  The most effective method is for men and women to cut-off the spending with the sex  after counseling and opt discussions then consider the potential of going your separate ways.  In other words, when the sex stops, there is a larger issue in the relationship and this is commonly related to finances of sort, but may involve a host of other issues.

50 Shades of Appreciation for Loose Women

Women strive hard to retain a positive reputation and that is commendable but there are those women who prefer to be themselves and pursue their desires despite the expectations of society.  These women are very popular and often times their pursuits come under scrutiny by the broader population because morality is used as a judgment stick along with a bit of envy in the sense they have ventured into areas where social and moral constraints forbid them. Usually, a sense of jealousy and envy takes place among women in this regard and they are the first to label a woman a whore.  Guys do this on a non-commercial bases due to three main factors, 1) a low regard for women in general, 2) emotional hurt from a relationship, and 3) attempting to fit in with the modern urban culture.  In any case referring to a women whether she is or is not is wrong because despite the motivations on her part, she has needs and desires like anyone else and the superficial constraints imposed by religion and society are moot in that the very acts committed by these women also occur in the bedrooms of the moralists.

The distinction is that the “Loose Woman” is envied by broad swatches of women and are commoditized for their physical features and hedonism by men.  Now, this is a double-edge sword from a man’s perspective in the sense that these women will never become devalued to the level other women may view them, instead there are “50 Shades of Appreciation” for these women.  The question remains for some, “Why would a man date or marry a “Loose Woman”?  The answer is very simple and rather concerning, “They can be trusted for a pattern of behavior”.  The logic is that with a more conventional woman that frowns upon women who have had many encounters with men, may in fact use morality as a facade to over-compensate for past indiscretions.  In other words, the Loose Woman is an open book and therefore the expectation of fewer surprises on down the road in a relationship is less likely to occur.  In a sense, this is a form of reverse filtering of relationships, to weed-out the posers and deal only with the true women as they see them.

It is assumed that the “Loose Woman” will do things in the bedroom that most conventional women may find offensive, but if truth is told there is merit to this argument.  However, the only distinction is that the conventional woman does not readily reveal her desires.  The obvious disadvantage for the Loose Woman is the social ridicule and questionable reputation among some men and women, but the advantage is that she is sought by a larger percentage of men.  In fact, the guys in some cases prefer the under-dog and therefore treats her better than the conventional woman which may be classified as boring.  Another fetish that some men may have is an attraction to someone that has been “used” sexually.  However, it should be noted that some men cheat with married women for this very reason in knowing that someone else has been or remains with her.  Many times, (but not always) they may like stretch-marks, and cellulite which symbolizes a sense of aged sexual attraction that may correlate with a current spouse or lover with the same physical characteristics.

Even though some men may laugh at the guy that winds up with one of these women either because they have slept with her, know someone who has, or even based their opinion solely on rumor, some men still endure.  One thing to remember is that the Loose Woman is more than a sexual being, she has personality, and other attributes besides the domicile between her thighs.  This is the rationale for guys to date and marry strippers, exotic dancers, escorts, and prostitutes, because they separate the people from the profession.  In the case of whoredom, the logic is similar in that sex is separated from love and therefore judging them is moot.

No matter how we choose to pass judgment on the perceived Loose Women, we really do not know in most cases about their experiences and intentions, but project our own assumptions onto what we prefer to like or believe about them.  Other men may feel as if there is no threat to them and therefore continue to dating and marry these women with a clear understanding that they probably will not change their habits.

Follow-up on the Swirl Rebuttal Transcript

In response to releasing the transcript of my interview with the preacher’s wife from Georgia, I was asked not to release it after she wrote me an email.  Apparently, her secret is out and she is in the midst of damage-control.  I had to think long and hard about doing the right thing or releasing the transcript.  However, I chose not to do so because she has children and her public reputation is in peril.  All that I can say is that she was caught red-handed and is now trying to salvage her marriage, reputation, and life.  I am not clear on who caught her or the circumstances, but one thing is clear, it is sometimes better to forgive and let live.

On Again Off Again Relationships

On Again Off Again Relationships
J A U S A N ®
“a private online community since 1995”
by Jausan | © 2014 All Rights Reserved
Santa Clarita, California
 

You probably know a girlfriend or guy that may use the term that their relationship is “complicated”.  This translates into words such as “I am not really happy with the current situation, but I am coping”.  Most often people are slow to admit the obvious that they are in a dying relationship.  The usual story is they have decided to take a break from each other.  In many cases the two of them may be putting more into a pointless relationship than it is worth.

The One Again Off Again Relationship is nothing more than an opportunity for one or both parties to seek-out someone else better than their current mate.  Now, it should be understood that it does not translate into automatically dating other people.  However, when his occurs in a relationship some people are of the belief that time away from the person will heal the wounds in it.  The problem remains despite the expanse of time between interactions because the lack of communications during that period allows both parties to use their own devices to speculate on how to deal with their temporarily estranged mate.   This is the premise that is actually set for another break int he relationship in that the expectation for change in the partner has not been met.

A lot depends on which party asks for the break. If a man asks first it may imply that he wants to retain the relationship while possibly seeking out other women.  In the case of a woman, there are two common reasons, 1)  she may want to clear her head of the relationship and  be unattached momentarily or 2) she may leaving the partner in the works for another relationship.  The latter smacks of a larger issue in many cases.

The woman who strategically plans to leave the relationship and uses breaks as a buffer to lessen the blow to the partner tries to ensure that she can step out of her current situation into a far better one.  The hook is that she does not care to burn the bridge of friendship in the event she has to use him for something in the future including returning to the relationship if things go south with her plans.  One thing to note in relationships is that women think strategically and men think tactically or long-term vs. short-term.

One thing that also occurs is a silence in respect to the issues that created the break in the relationship.  Now, there are legitimate reasons for the break besides filling agendas.  Infidelity could be a justifiable reason to break for a man or woman to assess taking the relationship further.  Another would be habitual behavior that puts the health of the relationship into jeopardy.  However, in many cases there are very few reasons for the breaks besides the aforementioned and instead of actually leaving the partner, they use excuses much like a hall-pass in school to not go to the restroom, but hang-out with friends and others.  By terminating the relationship one of the parties can actually make a decision.  What is usually the result of these break-ups is the light-switch approach because a comprehensive cannot be made with love as the excuse to remain. Also, the reasons may become petty and rigid.  This is a weak excuse at best, because love also requires communications and enjoying your partner.  Not only should you love your partner, “liking them” is an essential part that many people over-look.

In essence, you make the choice to be with who you are and therefore as a team it is the responsiblity for both of you to preserve it much like a child that foster mutual interest.

Using Sex as a Tool in Relationships

Using Sex as a Tool in Relationships
J A U S A N ®
“a private online community since 1995”
by Jausan | © 2014 All Rights Reserved
Santa Clarita, California
 

There are people on the singles scene who believe sex is a tool that can trump logic when it comes to conflict, problems, and impasses.  And the sad commentary is that these people take this warped sense of normalcy into long-term relationships.  And the differences between the genders in relation to sex from this perspective are vastly different.  The guy is the hunter and the female is the prey.  Every woman exploits this probability for a man in some way.  However, very few women realize that men have two main focuses with any woman outside family and close friends, 1) to see them naked if permitted, and 2) to sleep with them.  Very few guys will ever confess to this, bur being that I am single, I am will take a bullet for the team LoL.  However, there are some habits from the Premium Sexual Possibility (PSP) that women dangle in front of men at times that makes it into marriages. How many times have you heard a married woman use a sexual act as a favor to acquire items with husband, sometimes jokingly and other times seriously.  The truth is that manipulation and exploitation are part of who we are as humans and therefore routines utilizing these elements in our personalities become an acceptable practice.

Think of it this way, a single female that does not use her sexuality as leverage with men would never consider having to perform a sex act even joking in an effort to acquire the thing she wants and later in marriage those same practices are exercised.  The dynamic is that this may influence her choice in mates such as a partner who can appreciate an independent woman who doesn’t have to use her sexuality to manipulate.  On occasion a joke for sarcasm. may be… but when it becomes part of a routine there may be communications issues or terms within the relationship that may be imbalanced.

It takes a while for some people to figure out that sex is a relevant part of a relationship that eventually tapers-off with age.   We hear all of the exceptions to the rules of course, but by and large couples that have been together for an extended period of time do not engage in the practice as they did in their younger years before or shortly after marriage.  There are many factors that come into play such as kids, work schedules, and disputes that may result from time to time in some sort of isolation.  You hear the senseless argument of couples picking a fight for the make-up sex.  The truth is that if a couple has to go to such an extreme that could be accomplished with a total stranger instead of a loved one.

The shock for many women who base their relationship largely on the sexual aspect is when the male partner cheats or outsources the practice.  Sexual currency does have a shelf-life and there has to be more than sex itself to keep a relationship going as we know, but sex is not therapy because the conflict that existed before going into the bed-room remains outside of it.  One example is if or when a man cheats and instead of dealing with the reason for his infidelity, she falls into competition with the other woman to win him back sexually.

The sexual favors and sexual therapy approaches remain controversial to some women because it smacks of prostitution and desperation.  However, many of the modern independent women have sex with their partner out of love and physical need while retaining their independence, sense of self-worth and personal integrity.

Another issue that comes about with over-sexualized relationships is that over time she gets boring to him due to no fault of her own.  It has more to do with men preferring to see other features, builds, and types of women in the physical sense. An example of this is the estimated 2 billion plus men estimated throughout the world that have looked at adult material either over the Internet or in print.  Therefore, some women are intimidated by the material and fall under the impression that the women being viewed is what is desired.  In some cases that is true, but interestingly enough there are some informal surveys such as results published in the Huffington Post (http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/10/02/cheating-study_n_4032035.html) that counters this argument suggesting that people cheat with less attractive partners.  The implications are that the model types in magazines or on the Internet are dreams instead of realities.

In closing. women using sexual currency to get things may want to review the structure of their relationship and those that use it as a means to appease after abuse may need to seek help.  Statistically, sex only last for 15 minutes according to some surveys and this means some people may interact with their partners and spouses in the same time-alotted intervals when it comes to conflict.  There are many licensed professionals that can assist in resolving issues and these resources are sometimes underutilized.

Should a woman sleep with her closest male friend?

Should a woman sleep with her closest male friend?
J A U S A N ®
“a private online community since 1995”
by Jausan | © 2014 All Rights Reserved
Santa Clarita, California
 

People fail to discuss this issue, but it was brought up during a recent conversation with a female friend.  She has been single since The Great Recession of 2008 after going through a divorce.  Now, she has recovered financially and emotionally and is ready to date once more.  The difficulty for her is that during the time of her financial and emotional rehabilitation, she met this guy and became very close friends early on.  Now, however she is comfortable with him and his personality, but she used the dreaded FRIENDS word that guys hate to hear.

The problem of course is that their relationship is platonic and never had sexual or romantic overtures and she wants to change that perception of the relationship.  This is a typical situation that some women more so than men find themselves in when trust issues remain in the ether of life after divorces or break-ups.  As with most women, she does not want to be perceived as a loose woman or easy in some way, but she does have her sexual needs.

I explained to her that in any relationship a woman sets the pace in respect to how fast it advances and the limits.  If she is really smart boundaries should be set up-front.  The one thing that women in general should realize is that once a woman classifies a guy as a friend, it translates to “There is no way in hell I will ever sleep with you”.  One rule of thumb I used to use on the dating scene was to establish the friendship word first to put her at ease and to avoid confining myself too early with someone before finding a better match.  However, in this case the gentleman agreed with her about the friendship and never tried to advance.

Now he could be like myself and several other friends I know that hold a woman to their word in respect to converting friends to lovers.  The reason behind this is to quickly label them and move on through the 3 billion or so women in the world until finding a suitable match.  Another reason why most guys do not hang around too much after being called the friend is due to the pet-treatment when the guy is a harmless little toy with an appendage.  There are more than enough guys playing nice as friends waiting for the opportunity to bed their female friend.

I recommended to her not to sleep with him not on moral grounds, but because she only knows him as a platonic friend and not in an intimate way to so abruptly change that situation.  Needless to say, my advice was cast to the side and she did the deed.  Afterwards, she felt really bad and to make matters worse, he changed his number and will not speak to her.  She wanted me to blog about this and give her my suggestion after being beside herself for compromising a friendship.  I’ll be brief.

The reason why he slept with you and failed to resume the friendship has to do with several factors that you would not have any control over.  First he was not into to you sexually, but maybe viewed you as as sister-figure.  Secondly, he is probably serious about some else and you would be in the way. Thirdly, he may not have thought you were that good in bed.  I understand that this may sound rather harsh, but even though you built up a level of trust with him over the years, he wrote you off as a good friend based on what you established early on.  Over time he got to know you better and maybe you also knew him too well for a relationship.  Mystery while meeting someone is one of the thrills of dating.

Also,  better approach is to establish your intentions early on instead of springing it on him because rarely will a guy turn down sex.  There are some people who are better at public relations than with one-on-one interpersonal communications or intimacy.  In any case it was a learning experience.  Each situation is different and therefore you did all of the right things, however remember that if you opt for a booty-call of sorts please do not expect nothing more than that.  More than likely he left because a relationship was not what he was looking for at the time.  It’s not personal just subjective dating.

Dating a Know It All

Dating a Know It All
J A U S A N ®
“a private online community since 1995”
by Jausan | © 2014 All Rights Reserved
Santa Clarita, California
 

The biggest waste of time when it comes to dating is the “Know it All!” They usually have more answers than they have logic, experience, or research to back them up.  In some ways this compulsion to blurt-out an answer just for the sake of impressing others has more to do with an inferiority complex than anything else.  One thing that most wiser people do is to avoid being the smartest person in the room because they learn more when their mouths are shut than when randomly babbling.

Sometimes this complex come from feeling displaced or being a social outcast in some way.  However, this is not to confuse you with the intellectual that may have his or her facts and figures together.  Even though they may sound a bit wonky and too detailed in their dialogue, at least most often they know what the hell they are talking about.  The Know it All may improvise if he or she is not sure about a certain topic of conversation.  Once they have some sort of a clue they may run with the topic while interjecting phrases and a comments that are irrelevant.  Before going any further with these personality types, ask yourself if you could endure a life-time of this behavior.

Many times Know it Alls do not care to be challenged and would never admit to not knowing something.  One tactic that is commonly used by them is to use trivia instead of history, math, science, or some other discipline to project intellectual superiority.  They are always right in their minds with the attitude that no one especially their partner knows much aout anything.  In fact as the relationship evolves they may marginalize a partner’s intellectual contributions in conversations among friends and others. Both men and women may have this complex.  In some extreme cases you will find what is coined a “Pseudo Intellectual” or that individual who uses big words without understanding both the meaning and context.  They may even mispronounce words without a thought of picking up a dictionary to redress the mistake.  Also, in some cases they may become offended if a partner corrects their grammar to assist them in their public presentation.

Men most often fall into this category even though many women remain quiet to resolve the situation in their heads before speaking.  This is one of the main reasons that women are so quiet sometimes, not because of a submissive disposition, but to listen, interpret, then respond to issues and dialogue.  If you think about it, if a guy gets into a altercation or embarrasses the couple, the female is usually the ambassador to diplomatically resolve conflict.  This is not to say that the roles are never reversed or that women are smarter, the approach to thinhs are different.

There is one other thing about the Know it All personality type, they like to hear themselves speak correctly or not.  The fact of the matter is that rejection and constructive criticism are viewed as a personal attack and grossly unacceptable and therefore they become entrenched in their position.  Good luck with marrying and trying to wait them out for change.  This is an issue that they may have to deal with until they find someone who can actually endure this behavior.

 

The Expected Changes in Relationships That Others Don’t Get

The Expected Changes in Relationships That Others Don’t Get
J A U S A N ®
“a private online community since 1995″
by Jausan | © 2014 All Rights Reserved
Santa Clarita, California

 

Throughout life we will meet those individuals to date that friends, parents, and others may not approve of for whatever reason.  Sometimes these concerns are legitimate when it comes to a person’s welfare, safety, or dignity.  And sometimes it may stem from actually losing that individual to another through a relationship.  Change is the toxic word for many people coping with friends, family, and others that relationships with them do and should change.  However, there are some that may feel as though they are entitled to consume the space in the life of the person despite relationships and or marriage.

Disliking someone is usually the justification for many friends, relatives, and family members to stay involved with the mechanics of their loved one’s relationship.  How many times have you seen mothers and fathers attempt to break-up their daughters and sons from potentially viable relationships.  The hardest part for many parents is actually letting go.  This form of letting go is nothing more than a change that parents are not willing to accept based on many of the following attributes:

  1. Their own individual bad experiences in the past.
  2. Judging their children by the failed relationships in the past.
  3. The fear of being abandoned and forgotten.
  4. The loss of control over someone they have had for decades.
  5. Ruining or damaging the family’s reputation by associating with the other party.
  6. Fear of their child being harmed or used by someone for their body or financial means.

Fear of physical abuse or exploitation.

These are only seven of the plethora of concerns parents may have when it comes to their children dating or marrying someone.  If you noticed, all of the concerns are negative and this can be fed in a way that would bastardize the reality in which they face, especially if others with supporting negative opinions put in their two-cents.

Now, of course these concerns are valid and the son or daughter must understand that there is both an element of best interest and an element of personal interest in the outcome.  This means that the potential partners may have to prove themselves as worthy and Yes, in some cases a chance to do so may not become granted.  One element that is common for parents is to classify their children as too good for a certain person even though they have met the social standards and criteria.  In this case a sense of personal vanity on the parent’s part trumps the love that the son or daughter may have for their potential partner.  This is one of the elements used in arranged marriages where the parents knows best and the relationship is nothing more than a peace-offering to merge families together for a greater good beyond the scope of the two people.   To put it mildly this is a pluralistic and selfish approach to implement an agenda that uses the couple as pawns in a larger game.

It should be said that the majority of parents allow their cons and daughters to make their decisions when they are of age to do so; however this parental supervision may bleed well into adulthood if not checked properly.  The challenge for most people in relationships where the potential partner is disliked is much like being an attorney representing an innocent party until proven guilty.  There will be hear-say, assumptions, prejudice, and any other thing that can be used to color opinions.  Most often is there is no fault with the person they may then broaden the scope of contempt to ethnic group, geography, family, history, or any other technicality that promotes doubt.

The son or daughter is now faced with a crisis in many instances to be the mediator between family and friends and potential partner.  This is where many people have difficulty because they do not want to displease those closest to them and do not want to lose a potentially viable relationship that could make them happy.  In all decisions there are three choices 1) Change things for the better. 2) Change things for the worst, and 3) Do nothing and allow time to pass.  The third choice is the most common course of action because it requires little effort and allows the son or daughter to empower themselves as the mediator.  In this case, the keep both relationships, but such a decision is only a band-aid and is very short-term.  A common thing to happen is the potential partner may pressure the son or daughter to fix the issue with the parents or they will move on.  An ultimatum to put it lightly.

Once the potential of losing the relationship is exposed to the son or daughter, he or she may think that the partner is turning against them, but instead they are request that they take the lead in the process of reconciliation to avoid conflict.  Sometimes the potential partner may attempt to address the parents autonomously, but this rarely works because the individual has already been devalued in the minds of the parents.  The frustration comes from the potential partner in the sense that he or she is wasting valuable time in a situation that is not directly related to him or her.

What many people fail to realize is the way the son or daughter handles such a situation may be very telling about the way they will deal with adversity in the relationship or marriage.  While mentioning the  “M” word, some would like to assume that problems will be solved. The only change is that you will be married, but the crater in the relationship remains with the parents and the protection of oe day down the aisle will not give the son or daughter the respect desired.

The larger problem is simple, the parents, family, friends etc. do not have confidence in your own judgment even though many of the things you use in your assessments of mates were taught by some of the very same people so it is more of an indictment on their life-lessons for you.  Also, a common thing that some parents may do is marginalize you and your opinion through the eyes of you as a little girl or little boy even though you are grown.  In this sense it comes down to parents that don’t want to let go.  You should remember that your maturing means that they are aging and getting closer to the grave during to the cycle of life.

Others may try to live vicariously through your relationship to correct some of the mistakes in their lives.  Yet, some parents may legitimately see some short-comings from the partner; however instead of criticizing them since the parents know how important this person is to you, they may be helpful in assisting him or her to recognize and address those issues in a constructive manner.  A good rule of thumb is to briefly look at the relationship objectively and if the rationale does not add up to the accusations then more than likely an agenda is present.

The one thing that may a flawed strategy is to think that your partner is going to fight the fight on your behalf and that the integrity of the team will survive.  So many people have failed using this approach.  In fact more than likely the partner will leave because he or she did not sign-up for family counseling.  Again, another intro into something that would benefit all parties, but as expected this may be controversial and getting family into such an endeavor may prove daunting.  The usual reason for rejecting counseling is largely due tot he fact that the parents see the partner as a the problem and they did not need counseling before he or she came along.

Rumors are another weapon used to solidify their position whether it is truth or a lie, it does not matter.  The credibility of the sources are not placed into question and therefore the number of people can be exaggerated in agreement with their opinion. A forth-coming article will address in more detail dealing with family, and friends.

Why isn’t my partner changing for me?

Why isn’t my partner changing for me?
J A U S A N ®
“a private online community since 1995”
by Jausan | © 2014 All Rights Reserved
Santa Clarita, California

 

People sometimes go into faulty relationships under the premise of changing a partner into that desired lover.  You have heard women say “I will need to change this or that about him…”  Unbeknownst to many women and men the “change theory” rarely works because this approach is for children and not adults.  The first mistake is to assume that what you desire is indeed what the partner wants.  Change has to be first internalized  by the partner and not the partner seeking the change.  Secondly, it becomes grossly obvious to a man that manipulation is in play.  This marginalizes the effort to change the person to a personal challenge.  As we men know, when challenged the other party becomes a competitor instead of a partner in this sense.

The competitive spirit puts men into a defiant role and ferments their beliefs and positions.  The obvious agenda for some women is to use an ultimatum especially after marriage.  The thought process is that in order for the relationship to function, terms involving change must be implemented.  Some may even try the ultimatum which is the decision of last resort.

Now men may react differently toward these ultimatums in one of the following manners:

  • Genuinely attempt to change and go along with the request.  This is rare, but does happen under the auspices of love.  However, do not be surprised if he devises an ultimatum for his partner.  In the past I have witnessed these arrangement where the female wants her husband to quit doing or start doing things from in the bed-room to the front yard.  However, one thing that I discovered from interviewing couples is how the ultimatum places a void in the relationship.  A passive-aggressive approach is not out of the question when it comes to responses in the sense, “I will comply, but this qualifies me to seek-out someone without the limitations”.
  •  He may flatly refuse the request and find another woman without having anything else to do with the partner.  These are the no-nonsense guys that may have faced too many ultimatums in the past.  Guys with this disposition may actually change in a way that excludes a demanding partner as a viable mate.
  • Another approach is for a guy to passively-aggressively comply with the request will fostering an agenda to flatten the relationship to nothing more than having a sexual partner and roommate.  In short, he will do just enought for the sex and sexual favors with a lesser than authentic opinion about the partner or relationship.  He will cope with the situation until a better partner comes along.
  • And yet another strategy is the tit-for-tat-trade-off where the woman is expected to make a compromise in exchange.

The one thing that women should understand about changing a man is that not only does the change has to come from him, but it can also be viewed as a power-grab.  More importantly, it can be viewed as a woman treating him like a child.  Now, in any relationship, ther has to be compromise, but it has to be both voluntary and mutually inspired by both parties.  And the absolute worst thing that woman can do is to use sex as a tool to enforce compliance.  Some valid considerations are that a woman may suggest the correction of things that could benefit her partner, in this case such a concern is  valid in the sense of the best interest of the relationship. However, when it comes to addicitions such as porn, drinking, etc. the partner is not a proessional and would be best suited to face the problem with a licensed professional instead of an ultimatum.

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