My State of Independence

I used to be one of those African-American women in the 1990’s that drank the Cool-Aid of only needing a man as a sperm-donor.  I beleived the hype about being the independent single-mom that could do it all by herself.  During that time I was in my early 30’s and had almost eery self-help and motivational book you could think of at the time.  The Oprah Winfrey Show was like religion to me.  When I look back at my life and the poor choices I have made, there is a shame of shame covered by a dying sense of ego.

I tried to work things out with my boyfriend and childrens’ father, but he was a convicted felon and after carrying both him and my family financially, things did not work-out.  It took a while for me to realize that the reason many of the hite women that chose to pursue the life-style of the independent woman, had a support system in place.  They had friends, family, and even responsible men that stepped up to the plate and eventually supported them.  I had nothing more than a professionally unmarketable black man with braids, frustration, and anger that looked good and had a terrific penis.

So, like some black women going into the new century, I decided to scrap my plans of following the social tradition of the black woman sticking by the black man just for historical and symbolic sake  I chose to  specifically find a white guy to give me the life-style me and my children deserved while shaming my ex into taking his place as an insignificant by-stander.  I moved from Compton, California to South Florida after eeting a wealthy white investment fund manager.  It was total bliss for the first three years with international travels, driving exotic cars I could only dream of and living in a 25,000 square-foot mansion.  He embraced my family and extended family, assisting them financially.  I ws a member of many of the social and civic organizations while gaining a good reputation among most of the white elites.

One day I took a friend of mine from Los Angeles to the country-club where I was a member and that is when I had my first reality check.  We were not seated and the manager encouraged me to contact my husband.  Before oing so I asked a few more questions to find out why we were not admitted.  That is when I found out the truth, he did not trust me enough to make me a full member to this exclusive club, but as an associate member based on his approval each time I visited there.  I drove home furious and confronted him.  The conversation was completely unexpected and harsh.  In no uncertain terms, he did not approve of me bringing “those people from the hood” into the fold.  He made it clear that he had done me a favor and literally threw everything he had done for me and my children in my face.

Embarrassed by my girlfriend hearing the some of the conversation, I took her back to the hotel and gave her some money to help her out.  She did not look at me once while driving her there and got out of the car without saying a  word to me.  I could not beleive that after all of the years of struggling an being so clode that our friendship was permanently severed.  On my way home, I began to replay in my head some of the warning signs such as seeing other interrr\acial couples with the wealthier partners and spouses speaking to me while the minority partner turning away or deliberately avoiding me.

A few weeks after that, I was served divorced papers by one of his friends and never saw my husband again until court.  He threw a few hundred thousand dollars to me like I was a hungry dog and on the day I had the movers get my things, he stood at the door-way with his new Filipina sweetheart.  I took y kids and relocated to Las Vegas and since then, I have managed to see them graduate from high school.  Now, I am in my 50’s alone and unfulsilled like that optimistic lady in her 30’s back in the 1990’s.  I find comfort now in numbing myself to love and romance while allowing men that are interested in me to enjoy sex with no string-attached.  My girlfriend now lives here in town, hppily married to a black man that makes a meager living, but loves her.  Mabe, some where along the line, I should have considered the long-term issues and not used my kids as motivation to make the choices I did or my own selfish decisions to expose them to this world.

I can now own my mistakes and have no guilt or remorse when a man I meet on the Internet comes to Vegas to take care of my womanly needs.  Somewhere in my head, I still think they deserve to be between my legs than the bastard I had my children with all those years ago.

Julia S. — Las Vegas, NV



A night with Christian — A Wanton Woman

Spending a night with Christian was something I’d done many, many times. As I’ve probably said before he was the gayest, lunatic I’ve ever known. He has a selfish streak a mile wide, is self centred, narcissistic and vain. But he is also brave and caring and sensitive. Christian is no saint and can come […]

via A night with Christian — A Wanton Woman

One Girl’s Deep Desires

I have no issues with my sexuality and even lesser issues being nude 75% of my life. By social stereo-types, I should be conservative, covered-up, and on my knees praising Jesus in some non-discript church in the African-American Community.  No, I cannot fit into that mold. I have been called all kinds of names because of my liberal approach to life. As a 36 year-old black woman with no kids, I do what I want.

It was not always that way, I drank the Cool-Aid and was the church-girl to please my family and friends, but when I turned 16 I took the money from my Sweet 16 Birthday Party and bought my first dildo and enjoyed being me I love going commando 24/7 and completely bald down there  My biggest daily thrill is coming home from work, leaving my clothes in the middle of the floor and being naked until I have to shower and dress for work the next day

It is funny listen to my girlfriends talk about how frustrated they are having to roll-over and spread in missionary for their man to cum and fall asleep.  I tried having a resident dick in the house for a few years and it didn’t take long for it to get boring.  He was endowed, but I found more pleasure doing myself the favor  Iknow, my girlfriends think I’m crazy, but it is amazing how they come to visit to taste pussy when they have issues with their men

I am not and never have been interested in a threesome with another man or two men.  I am a Gemini that loves to get some dick on occasion and when he cums he has to go.  In the case of women, the thrill is much longer and better  The most entertaining thought are the things we can do to eachother that they would never do with their men.  They want me to use my strap-on and eating fruit from those special places.

Yes, call me a freak, but that’s cool too.  Maybe I am and I own it.  What really turns me on is when my girls go down on me and tell me how they refuse to give their men head  And for some strage reason, I love the smell of pussy and perfume in my sheets when we finish  When at work the guys stare at my hips, breasts, and ass, and only I know that only hours beforea married woman sucked these breasts, licked this clit, and ate this pussy.  I have no desire to take them from their men, just to enjoy the ride.  So don’t get it twisted, because there are some of us women that love ourselves

Shamika T. — Ocean City, MD




Do You Like Receiving Oral?

When it comes to women’s feelings about receiving oral sex, it’s a complicated discussion. Unlike men who, by and large, seem to love receiving oral sex under most, if not all circumstances, for women, it’s just not that simple. For us, there are many other factors that come into play — and the two big ones are skill and trust. If we’re not feeling secure, then for most of us, no matter how well our partner knows their way around a vagina, we’re just not going to be able to get that into it.

Then, of course, there are those situations where the person on the other end is clearly confused as to what is where and how to even handle our anatomy. That can make for an even more awkward situation, especially for women who are already feeling insecure about being in such a vulnerable position. It’s not easy to be spread eagle in front of someone else, and even those incommitted long-term relationships would sometimes rather do anything butthat.

We already know that some women hate cunnilingus and others love it, but we wanted to know why. Here’s what 11 Bustle readers had to say about receiving.

One Woman’s Take on Masturbation & Marriage

My husband and I have been married for almost 10 years now and masturbation is an important part of our marriage. It was not easy at first, because I used to think when my man did it,another woman was on his mind. Seeing and hearing his meat flapping at night after we had sex made me feel inadequate. After he came and I orgasmed, I thought things were done for the night.

Well, being much younger and not knowing, I took it as an insult and labeled him a jerk of the highest level. I thought it was inconsiderate and selfish. After making him feel bad and emasculating him for it verbally, I found myself in the worse of moods all of the time. One night, I woke up as he was stroking hi enis and turned the light on one night and asked him about masturbating. That was the moment things changed for us.

My usual routine was to put the pillow over my head to drown out the sounds of his moans and to make sure that none of jis sperm saturated the sheets. However, on this particular night, I pulled up the hem f my night-gown, open my thighs and matched him stroke for stroke with my clit.

He took my hands from between my thighs and guided it over his manhood. I noticed immediately that he was far more erct than he was inside me only hours earlier. He wiggled his fingers deep inside me and I guided his hand into the right spot that sent fireworks through my body. We laid beside each other until I was so wet and he was so hard that sex was the only cure.

From that moment forard, it has become and esential part fo our sexual ritual and one that extends the pleasure in the bedroom.

Claudia T. — Santa Monica, CA

The Sexy Granny of 2016

Forty years ago, we would have never thought of a woman in her 50’s as being secy, because the social stereo-type was that she was too old.  However, in our modern day, the older woman is actually one of the most over-sexed demographics in the United States.  According to various studies , the women in their early 50’s and up are either finding younger men to date or pleasing themelves sexually.

These women assume the traditional roles of grandmother, but are not the going to sit and remain a permanent baby-sitter.  Instead, these women are following a trend established by the female baby-boomers.  The Jone’s Generation women or those in their 50’s are not waiting for the Prince Charming or the Romantic Truth.  The fairy-tales are not a consideration for these women and they are more assertive in thier efforts to become satisifed.

There are many social factors that changed this role for these women such as the Era of The 90’s when they had thier children.  During that time Oprah was a popular show and the trend was for indepednent women to just have the child and do the rearing alone.  Throughout the following years many of these women dated and some married, but millions of these women wound-up as Baby-Momma’s or Single Mothers.  Many went back to school and got higher paying jobs and reared the kids with 18 being the age in which they were sent out into the world.  Some followed the trend going into the second decade of the 21st Century in pursuit of younger men.  The one factor that became a problem for many of them was that the younger men were not so financially stable and emotionally mature.

Since then, some found love with someoone of a suitable age, others found themselves perpetually listed on dating sites trying to find that magic guy, while others chose to re-capture those years missed taking care of their children.  The latter is the most common individual classified as The Granny of 2016.  These women are only concerned about their reputation with family and friends, but have very few inhibitions in the bedroom with the right person.

The Sexy Granny of 2016 may dress provocatively, get inked, and pull out a pair of booty-shorts  and even post selfies for the right partner.  They have no problem being naked and even less of an issue relieving their own sexual tension.  Unlike the Baby-Boomers in thier 60’s through 70’s, the Jone’s Generation Granny may not have a marriage that lasted decades and may not know what it is like to have a true relationship and it is not unreasonable for them to seek this out in their 50’s.  Some may attempt to use their bodies and sexuality as a draw while others may use their personality, and other more discreet virtues as a way of keeping a partner.

Throught it all, before you criticize that woman in her 50’s or older for wearing that mim-skirt or those booty-shorts, there is probably a story behind the behacior.  There is a good possibility that she is a good woman with naughty intentions.






Mother & Daughter Competition

rt-wp0017One of the most disturbing experiences that a younger woman can have is for her mother to disrespect her and sleep with her man. Yes, there are some mature women out there that find it amusing to engage in this practice, leaving the daughter heart-broken and suspicious. The most often cause of this gross violation of trust and respect has to do with an act of selfishness and disregard to the daughter. In some instances this is a delayed reaction of resentment of the daughter being born. Others may see this as competition. However, one common factor is low self-esteem on the part of the mother. We all know that relationships should and must have boundaries, but there are some people in general that are reared without them or ignore them. You may see this behavior among people that have reared themselves without the guidance of parents or other respectable figures.

This competition may begin innocently and escalate based on the amount attention the mother may receive from her daughter’s man. Now this transgression may occur with aunts and or other relatives that may have a sense of entitlement. One of the early signs of this behavior may begin with inappropriate attire or the potential of the boyfriend seeing the mother opt relative nude at some point. This introduction may begin early in the daughter’s relationship with the young man or later after she has had a chance to feel him out. There have been some rare accounts according to some of the email we have received of mothers actually having a pre-qualifier of sleeping with the guy discreetly prior to allowing him to date the daughter. Yes, this is dysfunction at its finest, but the illogical logic is that if he is good enough for me then he is good enough for my daughter. It should be of no surprise that many of these relationships occur discreetly without the daughter’s knowledge. On one awkward account, a then 19 year-old guy was at a singles mixer and wound up talking to a woman about 48 years of age. The two eventually had sexual relations for several months with her avoiding the ridicule of explaining to family members of being with such a young guy. Eventually, the affair was over and they parted ways and he attended college in another part of the city. In his senior year, he fell in love with an attractive blonde in her early twenties. They relished in bliss until Spring Break.

She finally felt the relationship was strong enough for him to meet the parents. He became uncomfortable upon arriving to the same house where he had bedded her mother about three years prior. The young-man failed to disclose to his new love about his previous relationship with the lady in the home. When he met her mother, there was an awkward pause at the front-door as the mother and father greeted their daughter while holding hands. Sadly, the mother and young gentleman kept their secret and continued to see each other for years even after he and the daughter ended their relationship. This is one very rare example of how these situations may occur. The premise of the relationship was based on an unhappy wife venturing out for a younger man and ironically winding up with her daughter’s boyfriend. However, most incidents of this situation occur deliberately. What we have to consider is that some of these mothers have been in or remain in unfulfilling relationships and therefore they may feel trapped, unloved, or under-appreciated. Having the younger man may make her feel appreciated and being that he is probably gang to be with her daughter allows her the ease of access as a benefit. In other words, the daughter is used as bait to keep him there and the mother may leverage her influence on the relationship to extort him for sex. Needless to say, this is a disorder and there have been news accounts of mothers being caught with their daughter’s men or ex’s in compromising situations. However, the nom is that most mothers establish a level of respect and their relationships will never go so low.

But we must remember that normalcy is the rule and this behavior is the exception and not vice-versa. A younger woman should be aware of how her mother interacts with her boyfriend in regards in inappropriate behavior or living too vicariously through her daughter’s relationship it him. Again as mentioned earlier, attire is important, because saying that he is a member of the family as mother prances around in underwear or short skirts to attract the attention is something to consider. Most often sex and attention are the key factors in most of these women acting out this way, so therefore it may fall on the shoulders of both the boyfriend and daughter to immediately set the boundaries if the mother does not have the discipline to do so.

Sex & The Professional Single Woman

Online-Dating-How-to-Tell-if-They-Are-a-Psycho-or-Even-a-Real-Person-featured_2We see her everyday in any urban or suburban community, professional, with a great smile, beautiful face, and disposition, but inside she is lonely and unfulfilled.  The Professional Single Woman is rather rare, unique, and very selective when it comes to dating.  The reason for her difficulty on the dating scene varies from not meeting men that are as well educated and refined down to the arrogant jerk that serves attitude instead of personality.  There are also some non-complimentary stigmas associated with her such as being snobbish, too selective, and in some cases a down-right classist.

The Professional Woman has a certain public image that becomes a part of her in such a way that it also encroaches into her personal life portfolio.  This means that she may not become the lady comfortable wearing the mini-skirt in public or showing affection in public.  It is in order for her to do all of her passionate work with her partner in very discreet surroundings.  Sometimes, she may fall into the mind-set of treating men as employees by ordering them around or using them as sexual tools.  Sadly, women with this disposition rarely find a substantial partner, but a substandard one instead.

A good segment of these women masturbate regularly as a routine and focus more on work than anything else while others may opt to suppress their urges by working-out in a gym or engaging in sports.   The challenge that many of these women face, (especially African-American Women) is finding a man that has a matching income scheme, educational level, and personality mix.  These are the three factors that keep these women isolated on the dating scene because most usually settle for the guy with potential or in the worst case, the guy she would have to rehabilitate.  The latter is the one that requires the most effort and assumes the most risk.  It is not far-fetched for these women to settle for a guy that may have only finished high school and possess the potential for a prevailing hourly wage .  She may have to use a lot of hands-on coaching with him to position the relationship to function.  Another challenge is to embrace the dysfunction associated with beliefs and philosophies.  For instance, she may have health-care through her job and he may have it through the Affordable Care Act, but does not see the value in being insured.  Therefore she may have to educate him on the importance of such a thing prior to him becoming ill or disabled and therefore becoming a liability.

The Professional Woman usually has a life-style that could be considered selfish in that the resources spent on her comfort may be viewed as a waste of money by those that may not make as much or are not used to being around successful people.  The one thing that the Professional Woman cares not to deal with are two simple words, “Financial Struggle”.  They are not materialistic from this perspective because they can afford to buy their own desired items instead of going to a man.  They are independent and well-rounded.  And here is the criteria that separates the Professional Woman from others:

  • They have careers instead of jobs that span over different organizations with increasing responsibilities while ascending the corporate ladder or committing themselves to their own successful and profitable business.
  • They make above US$60,000 pr. yr. annual salary without having to use their bodies in anyway.
  • They speak proper grammar and expect the same from their men.
  • They graduated from reputable schools and not vocational institutions or fly-by-night schools that only exist Online.

These women are all about business and love with little room for putting things out there and not backing it up.  Yes, they are independent in the sense that a man is not viewed as a provider, but a contributor in a relationship.  Sexually, they may want to be submissive, especially if they are in a leadership capacity where they wear the pants during the day at work.  Occasionally, they may want to be spanked during sex or role-play with a partner where he takes the lead.  An intimidated or weak man is not what they desire and neither is a brut or jerk.  They are notorious for scheduling sex at times and therefore a guy would have to be flexible.  And it should be noted that guys that just sleep with them in the hopes of landing a job may do so in vain.  This is by far the lowest idiot on the menu for them.

One other keen aptitude that these women have is the ability to smoke-out a fraud or faker.  They make mental notes throughout conversations and tag certain terms and explanations and will challenge inconsistencies.  This is the filter they use to avoid wasting time because they hear the excuses in the business world everyday.  Also, these women are assertive and have no issue when it comes to leaving a guy that does not make the cut.  Excuses are lame and the one thing that she wants to know are a partner’s goals in both life and business.  Throughout all aspects, if a Professional Woman finds a man attractive, then there is a good chance that she used her business decision-making skills in the process.

The Bi-Curious Woman

feature2There are some women that may seem devout in their disposition about who they are when it comes to sexuality.  Some women may use the term “Stictly Dickly!” to imply they are straight.  However, there are other women that may have the question, “What would it be like to be with another woman?”.  Most often,  these women prefer to avoid locking their minds into a defined sexuality.  They may care not to become classified as a lesbian, while not being thought of as a straight woman either to some extent.

The desire for a woman to sleep with another woman is not that uncommon, but some of the rationale to pursue another woman could be suspect.  One argument that some women may use is to view themselves as not cheating during a heterosexual relationship because homosexuality does not qualify as cheating,  Yet, others may have a dormant urge to be with another woman while fighting the personal and moral complications of fulfilling a deep desire.  Statistically, women find it easier to sleep with another woman more so than dating a younger man or dating interracially.  The ease of doing so seems less threatening and more discreet,  It is relatively common for these women to have their first bisexual experience with a close friend or co-worker.  The one factor is that the Bi-curious Woman is discreet and very selective about the person they care to share the experience with intimately.

Some of the characteristics the bi-curious woman may have are as follows:

  • Self masturbation & pleasure
  • Fantasies of being with another woman, but rather shy in pursuing the endeavor.
  • The temptation to flash, kiss, or flirt with another woman.
  • Touching other women in an affectionate way they may not be perceived as intimate.
  • Suggesting three-some with a male partner to introduce another woman into the bedroom.

The Bi-curios Woman may also make the first move from kissing or groping.  The thrill of being with another woman involves clitoral stimulation, the touching of breast-nipples and kissing.  One incentive for women in heterosexual relationships to get involved in these relationships may be based on the intimacy factor that another woman can provide that a male partner cannot.  Some would like to believe that the like-for-like vaginal contact is the sole motivation. However, the embracing, loving, and intimacy are the incentives based on research  from several studies.  The feminine touch is the stimulation or the hook to keep these women coming back for more.

Some women opposed to being with another woman may reject the notion on moral grounds or due to a lack of interest and many women opposing this practice do not like the taste of the vagina.  However, many of the women that are bi-curious may remain so for a short period and eventually return to a more conventional heterosexual relationship, while others may keep bisexuality as a life-long component.