“a private online community since 1995”
by Jausan | © 2014 All Rights Reserved
Santa Clarita, California
There are people on the singles scene who believe sex is a tool that can trump logic when it comes to conflict, problems, and impasses. And the sad commentary is that these people take this warped sense of normalcy into long-term relationships. And the differences between the genders in relation to sex from this perspective are vastly different. The guy is the hunter and the female is the prey. Every woman exploits this probability for a man in some way. However, very few women realize that men have two main focuses with any woman outside family and close friends, 1) to see them naked if permitted, and 2) to sleep with them. Very few guys will ever confess to this, bur being that I am single, I am will take a bullet for the team LoL. However, there are some habits from the Premium Sexual Possibility (PSP) that women dangle in front of men at times that makes it into marriages. How many times have you heard a married woman use a sexual act as a favor to acquire items with husband, sometimes jokingly and other times seriously. The truth is that manipulation and exploitation are part of who we are as humans and therefore routines utilizing these elements in our personalities become an acceptable practice.
Think of it this way, a single female that does not use her sexuality as leverage with men would never consider having to perform a sex act even joking in an effort to acquire the thing she wants and later in marriage those same practices are exercised. The dynamic is that this may influence her choice in mates such as a partner who can appreciate an independent woman who doesn’t have to use her sexuality to manipulate. On occasion a joke for sarcasm. may be… but when it becomes part of a routine there may be communications issues or terms within the relationship that may be imbalanced.
It takes a while for some people to figure out that sex is a relevant part of a relationship that eventually tapers-off with age. We hear all of the exceptions to the rules of course, but by and large couples that have been together for an extended period of time do not engage in the practice as they did in their younger years before or shortly after marriage. There are many factors that come into play such as kids, work schedules, and disputes that may result from time to time in some sort of isolation. You hear the senseless argument of couples picking a fight for the make-up sex. The truth is that if a couple has to go to such an extreme that could be accomplished with a total stranger instead of a loved one.
The shock for many women who base their relationship largely on the sexual aspect is when the male partner cheats or outsources the practice. Sexual currency does have a shelf-life and there has to be more than sex itself to keep a relationship going as we know, but sex is not therapy because the conflict that existed before going into the bed-room remains outside of it. One example is if or when a man cheats and instead of dealing with the reason for his infidelity, she falls into competition with the other woman to win him back sexually.
The sexual favors and sexual therapy approaches remain controversial to some women because it smacks of prostitution and desperation. However, many of the modern independent women have sex with their partner out of love and physical need while retaining their independence, sense of self-worth and personal integrity.
Another issue that comes about with over-sexualized relationships is that over time she gets boring to him due to no fault of her own. It has more to do with men preferring to see other features, builds, and types of women in the physical sense. An example of this is the estimated 2 billion plus men estimated throughout the world that have looked at adult material either over the Internet or in print. Therefore, some women are intimidated by the material and fall under the impression that the women being viewed is what is desired. In some cases that is true, but interestingly enough there are some informal surveys such as results published in the Huffington Post (http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/10/02/cheating-study_n_4032035.html) that counters this argument suggesting that people cheat with less attractive partners. The implications are that the model types in magazines or on the Internet are dreams instead of realities.
In closing. women using sexual currency to get things may want to review the structure of their relationship and those that use it as a means to appease after abuse may need to seek help. Statistically, sex only last for 15 minutes according to some surveys and this means some people may interact with their partners and spouses in the same time-alotted intervals when it comes to conflict. There are many licensed professionals that can assist in resolving issues and these resources are sometimes underutilized.