Over-exposed & Trying to Date

You may read many articles about those shy people afraid of being on the dating scene, but rarely do you hear about people being over-exposed.  Yes, over-exposure is a serious problem for many people seeking that special person.  More specifically, over-exposure comes about when a person tries too hard to find love through too many avenues i.e. (venues).

You see this when you meet someone on the Internet and find they are signed with every dating service known to man-kind including social media outlets.  However, the sad truth is that some of these people actually make it a perpetual life-style choice to remain on the dating scene without any intention of finding Mr. or Mrs. Right.  I know many of them that began back in the 1980’s and are still out there for some reason decades later without a break.

For some it is a choice because they may be deficient in the attention department and the singles scene allows them the platform to remain in the thick of excitement.  The worst thing that could happen from their perspective is to fall in love and or have a relationship because they view it as a liability.  In some ways they are like the entertainers that were popular once before and attempt to remain relevant throughout their lives.  Simply put, these are the people that do not know when to sit-down.

There is a thrill or rush for some people to meet someone new every week-end; however over-exposure has a cost.  And that cost is being taken for granted by potentially eligible partners.  You make know of someone who is a chronic complainer about not finding the right person even though they are on a date every other night and have their profiles plastered on every singles venue.  Statistically, people remain on the dating scene for no longer than 60 to 90 days.  However, there are those that have been out there for years.  And one bad thing about being on so many sites is the saturation factor.  In essence, the person eventually goes through the extended singles gene-pool.

There are a finite number of people you can meet through any social gathering or Internet venue so, the probability is that these individuals may run into someone that they have dated or slept with at some point.  Once gossip and rumors begin, they are hard to stop.  One raw realism from this situation is that they more often than not become sex objects or booty-calls.  If they sink to this level the beauty and attitude they once used is now replaced with pitiful desperate acts to keep them relevant.

For this reason there is a demand for Cougars by many younger men due to experience, and fewer inhibitions.  This is the demand for the green and blue-veined women to slip on a mini-skirt sans undergarments and hang out with people 10 years or more their junior.  However, it should be understood that many cougars are discreet and may be more visible online than on singles scenes.

The one take-away here is that being over-exposed can result in being exploited and taken for granted when you begin to blend in with the environment too well.



Study on Sexual Devices & Masturbation

Study on Sexual Devices & Masturbation
J A U S A N ®
“a private online community since 1995”
by Jausan | © 2014 All Rights Reserved
Santa Clarita, California


According to two 2009 Indiana University studies from participants that included national representative samples of American adult gay and straight men and women revealed that during sexual intercourse, vibrator use was a normal activity. The studies also revealed that about 53% of women and 45% of men between the ages of 18 to 60 used sexual devices to sustain or enhance their sexual activities in relationships.

Some other findings from the studies revealed that 1 in 4 of the participants had used a vibrator in the past month.  Also, 70% of the women admitted that they failed to have any adverse physical side-effects from the use of vibrators.  A minor number of complains were reported that expressed temporary skin irritation, genital numbness, and inflammation of genitalia.

Some men used the vibrator for testicular exams. One surprising finding was that men scored higher in regards to stimulation, intercourse satisfaction, orgasmic functions, and sexual desires than women in some instances. Even though this is a small sampling maybe too small to set policies, laws etc., it can be said that sexual devices such as vibrators are not just for lonely women anymore. However, the use of vibrators by women remains a discreet issue that only some women care to admit publicly to members outside of their own gender.  As a foot note Japanese, South Korean, and Chinese women purchase more of these devices than any other population of females in the world.

Masturbation in the United States has been a controversial subject especially when it comes to religious considerations. Today the act is becoming more entrenched in the American culture as movies often reference the practice and recording artists go through    the motions on stage. The taboo nature of the practice still makes some people uncomfortable even though most people begin masturbating in their teen-age years at an estimated 72% according to some accounts.

Both men and women masturbate to discharge stored energy that may be attributed to stress or some other factor associated with hormones. The striking difference between the genders is that men may masturbate to a form of media where as a women may use her imagination more so to reach orgasm. However, it should be noted that according to the studies,  most women would prefer having sex with a real person even though a few preferred self stimulation only for sexual needs.

But there are problems with those women that become accustomed to being alone and masturbating. They have a tendency to create a habit or sexual expectation for the stimulation. This means that they may find themselves having sex with a male or female partner and fall short of orgasm without the stimulation of the device or their own masturbatory practice.

This has caused problems for certain women with their partners from the perspective of their lover failing to achieve the desired goal of making the female orgasm. The one major issue for women while masturbating is the envisioned fantasy that puts them in a place to fully enjoy the moment. Very few of them are like men that can look at a person’ s body and within seconds be finished with a sweaty sock.

Women have sex in layers like peeling an onion until reaching the core. For men sex is most often an act, for women it is most often a process. Some men are immediately intimidated when dating a woman and finding out that she has an array of pleasure toys. The size of the toys are commonly the most intimidating for some guys when comparing their appendages. Some perceive themselves as a gimp when it comes to pleasing a woman with a device. However, women that reveal to their men for the first time that they have toys run the risk of running them off or making them ready to work with her. For this reason most women keep this situation a secret until later, meaning instead of getting rid of the device they place them in storage just in case the guy is lousy in bed. There is a vast array of these devices on the market  and prices continue to rise as demand increases.

Women have parties that display the newest and latest devices in efforts to rekindle relationships with husbands and boyfriends, or finding the best device to complete the job. No matter what gender, masturbation is a lonely act that is more self-serving than anything else because the person doing it knows the spot, angle, and speed to satisfy his or her desire. Some people are diametrically opposed to the use of devices not necessarily on moral grounds, but on the premise of self-esteem. The objective mind may be repulsed by an object without feeling or emotion being allowed into places that warrant warm flesh. This is a valid argument, but as women age and find it harder to have sexual desires met with a model with six-pack abs, playing it safe in the comfort of one’s domain eliminates the threats of sexually transmitted disease, the potential for becoming pregnant while fulfilling sexual needs until the right man or woman arrives.

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The Expressive Woman & Sexual Appeal

4YAB8rbThe Expressive Woman & Sexual Appeal
J A U S A N ®
“a private online community since 1995”
by Jausan | © 2014 All Rights Reserved
Santa Clarita, California

I have heard the argument too many times by women who scrutinize other women for flaunting their sexuality.  The long-held traditions for women has been to marginalize her voice, opinions, and beliefs to only things pertaining to hearth and home.  Prior to the 21st Century it was expected and acceptable for a horny woman to masturbate her desires away discreetly in the privacy of the boudoir or bathroom.

Her sexuality was viewed as a taboo topic that was relegated to her husband or man rolling atop her, ejaculating and falling asleep with the sexually frustrated woman left to her own devices. In fact, many women faked the orgasms, and even lied to their husbands about their sexual fulfillment.  Since this period women have matured, in the socially expressive sense to find little shame in fulfilling their needs with or without a man.

The woman that is highly appealing to men when it comes to expressing sexuality is that female that explicitly states what she wants firmly and without the shyness and uncertainty of the past. This personality trait is especially attractive to African-American men when it comes to Caucasian women according to an informal discussion forum titled “What Types of Women Turn You On & Why?“. The participation and responses were very diverse without the usual barbs. Women within that discussion group were asked “Are There Certain Things That You would do with or for One Type of Man Over Another?” The answers lead to a very spirited exchange. Several realities were revealed 1) Some minority women placed a high premium on oral sex based on certain factors. 2) Caucasian women in the discussion group viewed it as not such a big deal. 3) There was one thing that crossed all color-lines, the guys in the group preferred women who were expressive, provocative, and more in-your-face, but in a good way.

More specifically, the men explained that they liked a woman who would do all of the dirty things society frowns upon.” One particular gentleman stated that he was not married because he sought a woman who would be bold enough to do something to make him blush. The guys were more reserved, but the women were far more forth-coming.

“Jennifer T. from Denver ” laid the framework that started the controversy. “If I see a guy that I really want to sleep with, I have no problem reaching under my skirt and pulling off my panties in front of him.” Well needless to say, the women thought of her as a w garden tool initially until other women understood her rationale.

Jennifer’s argument wasn’t about attention or anything of that nature, she wanted to have sex and without literally saying “Fuck Me!” she acted on the sentiments.  The modern woman has gone beyond implications and is more likely to openly tell a guy what she wants.  The one thing that many of the women across the board said they would do to attract a man is to not wear panties under short dresses.  To my shock, I learned from some of the married and divorced women that some of them go out to clubs in groups, carefully opening their thighs ever so slightly to the suitor they prefer.  I asked the obvious question “Why?” and almost in unison they responded that some men have no problem grabbing their penises, so this is our answer.

When asked in more detail about the issues of minority women having a hierarchy of sorts in respect to men. And one of the women aptly broke it down “Caucasian men require oral sex and minority men only deserve it based on income, social status, and or they are in a long-term relationship. In short the African-American women within the group agreed that the man would have to be exceptional for oral or anal sex. However when the question was asked to this informal body of 20 men and 25 women of various backgrounds, the question was asked, “Ladies Would You Treat a Caucasian Man Better than any Minority Male?” The result shocked everyone, only five women answered No. The rest gad no shame expressing that African-American men was the choice of last resort.

One of the male participants asked “Why?” and this question opened Pandora’s Box. Many hurtful things were exchanged out of frustration, anger and disdain, but on thing was abundantly clear, the days of African-American women waiting around the Mr. Right who happens to be black are over. Another surprising observation was the topics of other conversations. One female participant admitted that a turn-on for her was to instruct a man to do her the right way. But one thing was clear for the group observation, the women were proud to express thier sexual desires openly and the guys appreciated their kandor. One interesti foot-note, the women polled only registered 51.5% favor women being sexually provocative. Men did better at 97% in favor.

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