J A U S A N ®
“a private online community since 1995″
by Jausan | © 2014 All Rights Reserved
Santa Clarita, California
We would like to believe that when we find “True Love” as we would care to phrase it, unconditional love is also included. There is a bit of truth to that assumption; however a person can be loved unconditionally, but behavior, practices, and sometimes words are the terms with the condition when it comes to love. How many times have you seen the battered or abused person return to their partner and you wonder “What the hell are they thinking?”. The reality is that many separate the person from the action or behavior and blindly use “Unconditional Love” as the catalyst to remain together. The telling truth is that often times people may mask this unconditional love in various ways. Think of the person who knows their partner is cheating and yet they continue to turn a blind eye instead of leaving the relationship.
Unconditional Love is one of those elements within a relationship that could easily leave a person vulnerable and besides contrary to popular belief i is nothing more than a pipe-dream. There are conditions for all of us in some way when it comes to not only accepting the person, but their words and behavior. Children and pets are the only two beings that may be loved despite behavior because there is not a sense of social responsible associated with them. If you are mistreated in a relationship by an adult at some point he or she should have learned a lesson along the the road of life. For this reason as we mature we understand that Unconditional Love is very subjective in respect to religious beliefs or personal moral judgments.
Even loving someone and not loving their behavior, words, or morals have their limitations. Think of the things that you absolutely could not tolerate in a partner. Most often these limitations are the filters we use in selecting a viable partner. However, some people may mask these elements of their personalities until on better footing in a relationship. And many times they post-pone or conceal the behavior in order to acquire the partner they desire and then use the Unconditional Love frame-work to foster guilt and doubt in respect to leaving the relationship.
What usually happens with a not-so forth-right partner is to use unconditional love as a weakness and a gateway to lowering their-self esteem. The interesting thing is that many of the reluctant spouses wind up capitulating in the name of love and saving the marriage or thwarting the fear of loneliness. We should not feel guilty for having certain tolerances for behavior or words even and an action-plan should be in place in the form of counseling, or working-out the issues even if it may involve separation. Remember that anything that causes an argument in your relationship is like having another woman or man in the relationshjp. Like you it requires attention, like you it occupies time, and like you it needs interaction.
In short, avoid the guilt when a partner tries to influence you to do some that you know is wrong or illegal because Unconditional Love is not acceptable as bail in front of a judge.