Conditional Love & Your Partner

Conditional Love & Your Partner
J A U S A N ®
“a private online community since 1995″
by Jausan | © 2014 All Rights Reserved
Santa Clarita, California

 

We would like to believe that when we find “True Love” as we would care to phrase it, unconditional love is also included.  There is a bit of truth to that assumption; however a person can be loved unconditionally, but behavior, practices, and sometimes words are the terms with the condition when it comes to love.  How many times have you seen the battered or abused person return to their partner and you wonder “What the hell are they thinking?”.  The reality is that many separate the person from the action or behavior and blindly use “Unconditional Love” as the catalyst to remain together.   The telling truth is that often times people may mask this unconditional love in various ways. Think of the person who knows their partner is cheating and yet they continue to turn a blind eye instead of leaving the relationship.

Unconditional Love is one of those elements within a relationship that could easily leave a person vulnerable and besides contrary to popular belief i is nothing more than a pipe-dream.  There are conditions for all of us in some way when it comes to not only accepting the person, but their words and behavior.  Children and pets are the only two beings that may be loved despite behavior because there is not a sense of social responsible associated with them.  If you are mistreated in a relationship by an adult at some point he or she should have learned a lesson along the the road of life.  For this reason as we mature we understand that Unconditional Love is very subjective in respect to religious beliefs or personal moral judgments.

Even loving someone and not loving their behavior, words, or morals have their limitations.  Think of the things that you absolutely could not tolerate in a partner. Most often these limitations are the filters we use in selecting a viable partner.  However, some people may mask these elements of their personalities until on better footing in a relationship.  And many times they post-pone or conceal the behavior in order to acquire the partner they desire and then use the Unconditional Love frame-work to foster guilt and doubt in respect to leaving the relationship.

What usually happens with a not-so forth-right partner is to use unconditional love as a weakness and a gateway to lowering their-self esteem.  The interesting thing is that many of the reluctant spouses wind up capitulating in the name of love and saving the marriage or thwarting the fear of loneliness.  We should not feel guilty for having certain tolerances for behavior or words even and an action-plan should be in place in the form of counseling, or working-out the issues even if it may involve separation.  Remember that anything that causes an argument in your relationship is like having another woman or man in the relationshjp.  Like you it requires attention, like you it occupies time, and like you it needs interaction.

In short, avoid the guilt when a partner tries to influence you to do some that you know is wrong or illegal because Unconditional Love is not acceptable as bail in front of a judge.

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The Typical Gold-diggers & Jump-offs Playbook

Woman aircraft worker, Vega Aircraft Corporati...
Woman aircraft worker, Vega Aircraft Corporation, Burbank, Calif. Shown checking electrical assemblies (LOC) (Photo credit: The Library of Congress)

The Typical Gold-diggers & Jump-offs Playbook
J A U S A N ®
“a private online community since 1995”
by Jausan | © 2014 All Rights Reserved
Santa Clarita, California

The new term for a Gold-digger is a Jump-off or a woman who attaches herself like a leech to a successful man or woman.  Even though some men may do this, it remains frowned upon in the broader sense.  These women fall outside the category of most women because the majority put in the work and make a life for themselves in a way that does not require dressing provocatively or engaging into ass-kissing in the vain of currying favor from men.  In essence, the majority of women work hard and sustain themselves and their families.

However there are those women who deliberate leverage their appearance, body and youth in exchange for a life-style provided by a man or a woman.  The goal is to put forth as little effort in life as possible to reap maximum rewards at someone else’s expense.  The hype associated with an exaggerated life-style of luxury is usually the motivation.  Once these women attach themselves to a woman or man, they do whatever it takes to get the wealth or a portion of it.  The sad thing is that many of these women rarely notice that they are so obvious in their approach and most often are disappointed when they are left with only memories, broke, and out of love.

The most depressing part f the cycle that these women undergo is the fact that age is in deed their enemy.  Age = Relevance in their equation and it looks pathetic at age 40 and up when they are still trying to use such a tactic.  Usually, women may go through the phase and grow out of it while others remains tuck on stupid until they are laughed at about age 70 walking around wearing a micro-mini-skirt around men one-third their age.  They get stuck in an era.  Some usually attempt to have children with these men or even marry them as an anchor to ensure they are associated with the lifestyle.  The strategies may differ because there are some that do this out of seeking financial security while others may do so just to have a child or get married with divorce in mind to get their share of the pie.

The Gold-digger or jump-off is not someone that will hang around  throughout  troubling times unless there is a means to profit or come-up later.  Men are viewed as commodities as some men may view these types of women.  The vagina is the actual tool that is supposed to be used in order to keep the man.

The reason why the majority of these women wind up alone later in life is based largely on the superficial approach they have toward life in general.  The hype is the life-style and the loneliness is the reality, nursing homes are filled with them.  There is also a sense of entitlement that these women have in the sense that the man is supposed to share his wealth. Now, there are several different agendas for these women.  There are only two agendas, their own and sometimes that of their extended family.

There are women that look for men or women in some cases who can not only take care of them, but their other family members.  Even though in some cases there are cultural implications depending on which area of the world they are from and in other cases not so.  One common occurrence is with some of the mail-order brides that may serve as anchor of spport for the rest of the family.  In short, the woman is used by the family to marry or date the guy and use him to support both her and them.

One last note about thee women is many of them are not bad people, but possibly reared in a poor environment, or were stuck with the task of being responsible for the extended family.  Therefore the guy is pimped by all parties.  This happens especially to successful emn with limited interpersonal or social skills.  The woman showing the attention to him may make him feel special in exchange for her being around him and in exchange enhancing his social image among peers i.e. trophy wives.

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Why does she hestitate to Introduce him to her girlfriends?

Jausan
Editor-in-Chief
Romance Referee ™
“Why does she hesitate to introduce him to her girlfriends?

I get this question from more men than anyone else because they are not familiar with the game.  Here we go with this madness.  The reason why most women hesitate to introduce their man to their friends is based on three considerations.  1) The women are trying to hedge against the negative feed-back by prolonging the introduction, and 2) minimizing the possibility of one of the girlfriends having a go at him, and  3) to pre-empt the reality of him finding out that he might not have selected the best woman in the lot.

I know this may be controversial, but so true because by the very pressures applied to women, they are commonly classified as insecure and therefore the three considerations are valid.  In all fairness, I have gone through that situation dating a woman that prolonged the introduction to her friends.  After under-going this a couple of times in my younger years, I decided to place a cap on the time I was willing to deal with the whole friend approval and vetting process, “One meeting or evening” and that was it.

Now there are mainly three reasons why a woman tries to keep you away from her friends initially.  And they as follows:

1) Fearing that he may not be good enough.

2) Fear that one of the girls might like him enough for a challenge.

3) Fear that he may discover that the two of them are not such a great fit and one of her girlfriends may be better.

This fear comes from insecurity and yes there are those that have girlfriends that say they would never act upon an impulse, but no one can read the minds of others, but can only go by their past behavior.  So in many ways this degree of uncertainty is justified.  However, in many respects some women need to grow-up and not allow their girlfriends to assist in predicting their happiness.