“a private online community since 1995”
by Jausan | © 2014 All Rights Reserved
Santa Clarita, California
Men marry women hoping their physical appearance will never change, Women marry men hoping they will change their habits. Both are disappointed and settle for their stubborn and aging spouse. Very simplistic with a hint of truth in there somewhere. Even though we’re using a simplistic model in describing something that’s a little bit more complex it conveys the same message that a values associated based on gender in regards to marriage.
We are taught by tradition to value the institution of marriage. However, this is the premise for this adoration has more to do with the institutions around marriages, such as bridal companies, florist, and other ancillary services. The institution of marriage is commercialize to suit the needs of businesses based on the personal motivation and desires of the participants in relationships. Think for a moment of the costs for funeral, there are more costs associated with free burial services than with actually burying the individual. Making money off of the extreme emotional appeal of people such as happiness upon buying an automobile, a home, or being approved for a student loan remains an incentive for emotional base marketing and sales. This is classified as euphoric marketing when an enterprise can capitalize on the emotional appeal of an individual based on his or her perceived happiness for elation. The same occurs during the grieving after a loved one has met their demise.
There are other pressures that may force us to consider marriage that do not directly apply to our own agendas, appeal, or even plans for the future. We do this more out of pleasing others in society as a whole sometimes more so than for own benefit. We see this in arrange marriages, sacrificial marriages, and yes even shotgun weddings.
The basis for many of our decisions to marry is largely due to an emotional appeal in some way form orr fashion. We may call it love, or what we perceive as love to be the sole motivation behind undertaking such an endeavor. In reality, marriage is a contract between two people to oppose certain level of respect decency and loyalty throughout the process until death or divorce. This means joint financial liability and all of the benefits tax-breaks etc. afforded the couples.
There are various reasons to marry some valid with long-term agendas and others with short-term goals. The premise of this endeavor is to ensure some sort of exclusivity and access denied others during the duration of the enterprise. You may look at marriage as a business in a sense, because with it comes branding, integrity and valves commonly used inadvertently as a mission statement. There is shared liability, exposure to risk, a merging of assets, and legal considerations.
People may spend more time on searching for interest rates on automobile purchases than actually considering the right person to marry. This is one of the aspects of our lives that we assume love will conquer all and in some instances we leave the state of the marriage in the hands of the deity or belief that things will take care of themselves. Of course this is an illogical approach to a life altering situation. So therefore fear of marriage plays a significant role in our decisions to consider such a demanding feat.
Another illogical aspect of marriage is the immediate denial for some to seek counseling based on a poor decision made in selecting a partner. Instead we would like to assume that we did not make a mistake and we are therefore charged with going through with the decision we made whether or not it is feasible to continue. This is where many people wind up in trouble, and in divorce court. Denial plays a big part in the failure of many of these marriages. Not the denial after marriage, but the denial prior to marriage before saying I do or taking the vows. The most important aspect of this denial has to do with the fact of avoiding criticism from third parties and family members about selecting the person you love. The sense of embarrassment may cause us to make irrational or illogical choices for the sake of just being right or not allowing friends and family to win.
In conclusion, marriage warrants more consideration than just and I love you, but a long-term feasibility that will require sacrifice and yet pay dividends. Using marriage is a premise to imply that by doing so life will be better is a grave mistake that is made perpetually by youth generation after generation.