A night with Christian — A Wanton Woman

Spending a night with Christian was something I’d done many, many times. As I’ve probably said before he was the gayest, lunatic I’ve ever known. He has a selfish streak a mile wide, is self centred, narcissistic and vain. But he is also brave and caring and sensitive. Christian is no saint and can come […]

via A night with Christian — A Wanton Woman


Married & on Dating Sites

We hear a lot of complaints about dating sites, but the fundamental problem has little to do with the enterprises, but more to do with the individuals populating them.  For instance, it is estimated that about 15 – 25% of the people on dating sites are actually married or separated.  Despite the best efforts of these sites to filter out married types, they manage to perpetrate.  The most non-traditional trend is the rise in married women subscribing to these sites.  In fact, most of these married women may shy away from sites such as Ashley-Madison because of the social stigma associated with it.  In stead, may find comfort in dealing with singles in a neutral environment.

The rationale for many of the women in particular to do this derives from other issues that could be based on issues in the marriage or a sense of unfulfillment.   However, one of the main draws is the attention given by someone single to not only stroke theri ego or life-self esteem, but to also pursue fantasies.  A married woman using one of these sites may consider herself single and therefore only a single partner will do.  Men may also exercise the same practice to bed women, but the motivation is a bit different in the sense that married men are more interested in the sexual aspect of meeting another woman.  Women may seek out a bit more, even if they are seeking sex, may linger based on the attention factor.

One interesting finding is that the majority of these women average in age between 25 – 45 years of age.  There is no rhyme or reason for this behavior, among this large demographic, but on thing that is in common among some studies, married women signing-up for single sites have been married from 3 – 10 years on average.  According to relationship experts, cheating is usually due to perceived bordom in relationships.   Most often, the motivation for both of these men and women is sex.  The difference between them and singles is that the singles seek a relationship while others seek a booty-call.

The harsh truth is that these people are greedy and marginally committed to anyone but themselves.  Yes, they are selfish and care very little about exposing others to the risk of running in their spouse.  Women are usually more convincing when it comes to reassuring  a man that there is no concern being with her.  Guys should really pay attention to detail, because believing what she tells you may lead to confrontation.  One thing to remember is that a cheater only represents the relationship from his or her perspective.



First Date Polling Survey

Our sister blog RomanticTruth.com conducted a recent survey of single men and women  in respect to the question, “How far would you go on a first date?”  The overwhelming response from women implicated that kissing would be the extent of intimacy on a first date.  Men on the otherhand, favored touching.  This clearly defines the differences when it comes to the genders in respect to romantic appeal.

Women are using the more emotional and intimate form of expression by kissing.  Men use the physical aspect of touching in the sense to convey intimacy.  In bot  cases, it could be implied that a woman has the most limited interaction and can more than likely control the behavior to some extent on the first date..  If women choose to touch a man while or after kissing, there is a good sign that she may want a more inimate encounter than just kissing.  It could also imply that the women that like kissing and touching on the first date may just feel comfortable with their partner.  It should be noted o guys that touching does not equate to sex or intimacy beyond the practice.

My Dignity Had a Price

I am a 42 year-old African-American woman born and raised in Detroit, Michigan.  Like many of you, when the financial crisis hit my town, it put many of us into dier situations.  I lost a great job as a business systems analyst when the company I worked for chose to relocate overseas to save cost.

Unlike most  34 year-old women in my deomographic back then,  I had no hildren, but student loan,s car payments, and rent, the usual stuff.  Initially, I was under the impression that I could relocate to Los Angeles, Atlanta, Seattle, or New York to seek better opportunities.  The traveling was fruitless and it did not take long before I had blown through my 401k and severance pay. I barely had enough cash to get back to Detroit and found myself living with my sister and her husband in Flint.

I baby-sat for those fortunate enough to keep a job and life got really tough after losing everything.  It is hard to reflect back on those times,  but I used the cliche’ that gets most black folks in trouble ‘I did what I had to do…’.  This term means ‘Fuck it!’  Baby-sitting did not give me enough money to move out on my own again, and I did not want to make the mistake of shacking up with a guy or gal for the benefit of having a roof over my head.

I chose to respond to an Internet Ad on a popular web site ofr classifieds.  I saw they needed local women to work from home.  Well, I met with the to ladie and they bragged about how much money they made and I was impressed with the Mercedes 500 and the LV purses each of them hand.  Well, I decided to join them and began doing web cam shows on a schedule at their home.  I felt kind of awkward having a woman go down on me for the first time and literally held my breath when I did the same for them.  All kinds of moral questions danced in my mind while licking and sucking on these womens’ breasts and clits.  That feeling lasted until  I received my first check.  I had enough money to actually go to the bank and get my car back from repo before auction.  However, the women advised me of the rules of the game.  Certain VIP clients wated to see a black woman without tattoos, and that was my calling, then I was in demand for my lighter complexion and long black hair.  The larger and darker ladies took offence when my checks became larger and I was more popular.

Eventually, I came home from a night-out with a date and my bags were on the front steps and even though I wasn’t broke, I was not quite in the financial position I wanted to be in.  My date invited me to stay at his place and I tried to get back into the grind of finding another job like I had before the crisis, but instead settled for a waitress job.  Well, I met a Caucasian guy that told me I could make a lot of money.  I ran down the ‘Been there heard that!” script.  He gave me his business card and two crisp $100 bills and told me to put it away, then paid the bill with a legit tip of $100 with the bill.

I called the guy and showed up at a run-down warehouse near the river.  There were black women lined up inside the building from all walks of life from prostitues to sstruggling single mothers.   The one thing I noticed immediately was there were no black men around.  Inside the larger area of the warehouse were movie sets like for kitchen scenes, living-rooms, bed-rooms, and bath-rooms.  The furniture was second-hand.  I knew it was a bad life choice for me at the time, but there was a need to get back the lifestyle I had lost.

The guy that gave me the generous tip tspped me on the shoulder and motioned me to follow him.  I had no idea what was about to happen.  HI followed him into an office and he reached into a drawer and tossed me a pre-sealed envelop on top of the desk.  He told me that if I took the money his crew could have me for a day of filming.  I did not know what that specifically meant, but had a idea it meant having sex of some sort.  Well, when I opened the envelop an say that it was about $500 in 5’s, 10’s, 20’s, and 1’s, I agreed in the sense that it was for only one day.  This was the biggest mistake of my life.

When I passed by some of the other movie-sets, I saw these white men doing degrading things to these black women, but being that I never heard the “N-Word” used, I ignored the reality.  I got to our kitchen set and the nice man barked orders for me to strip.  At first I turned up my nose and another man grabbed me by the throat  began to unbutton my blouse.  The other details, I care not to share at this point.  Before the day was over with my ass , mouth, and vagina were sore from being spanked and penetrated and handled like a piece of cheap meat.

As I dressed myself, tears streamed down my face as I could hear other women doing the same upon realizing how low we fell for a few hundred dollars.  I though the ordeal was over and it was a foolish mistake I made in my 30’s.  Afterwards I moved to Las Vegas and re-established my life in a call center until recently.  One of my rival co-workers found the video tape on a porn channel and now everyone knows.  My husband and I are now in counseling about it and I just ray that my daughter will never see it.

C.T. — Las Vegas, NV




Do You Like Receiving Oral?

When it comes to women’s feelings about receiving oral sex, it’s a complicated discussion. Unlike men who, by and large, seem to love receiving oral sex under most, if not all circumstances, for women, it’s just not that simple. For us, there are many other factors that come into play — and the two big ones are skill and trust. If we’re not feeling secure, then for most of us, no matter how well our partner knows their way around a vagina, we’re just not going to be able to get that into it.

Then, of course, there are those situations where the person on the other end is clearly confused as to what is where and how to even handle our anatomy. That can make for an even more awkward situation, especially for women who are already feeling insecure about being in such a vulnerable position. It’s not easy to be spread eagle in front of someone else, and even those incommitted long-term relationships would sometimes rather do anything butthat.

We already know that some women hate cunnilingus and others love it, but we wanted to know why. Here’s what 11 Bustle readers had to say about receiving.

One Woman’s Take on Masturbation & Marriage

My husband and I have been married for almost 10 years now and masturbation is an important part of our marriage. It was not easy at first, because I used to think when my man did it,another woman was on his mind. Seeing and hearing his meat flapping at night after we had sex made me feel inadequate. After he came and I orgasmed, I thought things were done for the night.

Well, being much younger and not knowing, I took it as an insult and labeled him a jerk of the highest level. I thought it was inconsiderate and selfish. After making him feel bad and emasculating him for it verbally, I found myself in the worse of moods all of the time. One night, I woke up as he was stroking hi enis and turned the light on one night and asked him about masturbating. That was the moment things changed for us.

My usual routine was to put the pillow over my head to drown out the sounds of his moans and to make sure that none of jis sperm saturated the sheets. However, on this particular night, I pulled up the hem f my night-gown, open my thighs and matched him stroke for stroke with my clit.

He took my hands from between my thighs and guided it over his manhood. I noticed immediately that he was far more erct than he was inside me only hours earlier. He wiggled his fingers deep inside me and I guided his hand into the right spot that sent fireworks through my body. We laid beside each other until I was so wet and he was so hard that sex was the only cure.

From that moment forard, it has become and esential part fo our sexual ritual and one that extends the pleasure in the bedroom.

Claudia T. — Santa Monica, CA

Sex & The Professional Single Woman

Online-Dating-How-to-Tell-if-They-Are-a-Psycho-or-Even-a-Real-Person-featured_2We see her everyday in any urban or suburban community, professional, with a great smile, beautiful face, and disposition, but inside she is lonely and unfulfilled.  The Professional Single Woman is rather rare, unique, and very selective when it comes to dating.  The reason for her difficulty on the dating scene varies from not meeting men that are as well educated and refined down to the arrogant jerk that serves attitude instead of personality.  There are also some non-complimentary stigmas associated with her such as being snobbish, too selective, and in some cases a down-right classist.

The Professional Woman has a certain public image that becomes a part of her in such a way that it also encroaches into her personal life portfolio.  This means that she may not become the lady comfortable wearing the mini-skirt in public or showing affection in public.  It is in order for her to do all of her passionate work with her partner in very discreet surroundings.  Sometimes, she may fall into the mind-set of treating men as employees by ordering them around or using them as sexual tools.  Sadly, women with this disposition rarely find a substantial partner, but a substandard one instead.

A good segment of these women masturbate regularly as a routine and focus more on work than anything else while others may opt to suppress their urges by working-out in a gym or engaging in sports.   The challenge that many of these women face, (especially African-American Women) is finding a man that has a matching income scheme, educational level, and personality mix.  These are the three factors that keep these women isolated on the dating scene because most usually settle for the guy with potential or in the worst case, the guy she would have to rehabilitate.  The latter is the one that requires the most effort and assumes the most risk.  It is not far-fetched for these women to settle for a guy that may have only finished high school and possess the potential for a prevailing hourly wage .  She may have to use a lot of hands-on coaching with him to position the relationship to function.  Another challenge is to embrace the dysfunction associated with beliefs and philosophies.  For instance, she may have health-care through her job and he may have it through the Affordable Care Act, but does not see the value in being insured.  Therefore she may have to educate him on the importance of such a thing prior to him becoming ill or disabled and therefore becoming a liability.

The Professional Woman usually has a life-style that could be considered selfish in that the resources spent on her comfort may be viewed as a waste of money by those that may not make as much or are not used to being around successful people.  The one thing that the Professional Woman cares not to deal with are two simple words, “Financial Struggle”.  They are not materialistic from this perspective because they can afford to buy their own desired items instead of going to a man.  They are independent and well-rounded.  And here is the criteria that separates the Professional Woman from others:

  • They have careers instead of jobs that span over different organizations with increasing responsibilities while ascending the corporate ladder or committing themselves to their own successful and profitable business.
  • They make above US$60,000 pr. yr. annual salary without having to use their bodies in anyway.
  • They speak proper grammar and expect the same from their men.
  • They graduated from reputable schools and not vocational institutions or fly-by-night schools that only exist Online.

These women are all about business and love with little room for putting things out there and not backing it up.  Yes, they are independent in the sense that a man is not viewed as a provider, but a contributor in a relationship.  Sexually, they may want to be submissive, especially if they are in a leadership capacity where they wear the pants during the day at work.  Occasionally, they may want to be spanked during sex or role-play with a partner where he takes the lead.  An intimidated or weak man is not what they desire and neither is a brut or jerk.  They are notorious for scheduling sex at times and therefore a guy would have to be flexible.  And it should be noted that guys that just sleep with them in the hopes of landing a job may do so in vain.  This is by far the lowest idiot on the menu for them.

One other keen aptitude that these women have is the ability to smoke-out a fraud or faker.  They make mental notes throughout conversations and tag certain terms and explanations and will challenge inconsistencies.  This is the filter they use to avoid wasting time because they hear the excuses in the business world everyday.  Also, these women are assertive and have no issue when it comes to leaving a guy that does not make the cut.  Excuses are lame and the one thing that she wants to know are a partner’s goals in both life and business.  Throughout all aspects, if a Professional Woman finds a man attractive, then there is a good chance that she used her business decision-making skills in the process.

The Common Characteristics of Cheaters

5_resizeA cheating man or woman have several common characteristics in common.  These  attributes include the ability to justify,their actions through centric justification.  The justification for cheaters to cheat is based largely on a sense of victimhood.  This sense of victimhood manifests in rationale such as the following:

  1. Projecting Blame onto his or her partner as being the cause of cheating due to some of the most common excuses such as lack of attention (commonly found in women), physical criticisms about weight (common found in women),  and a loss of interest in the partner which may be applied to both genders.  The premise for these arguments are based on one solid factor, that the partner failed to measure-up to the expectations of the cheater in some way either through affection, arousal, or agendas.
  2. .Projecting Emotional  Pain onto the partner in respect to transferring the bad or harsh feelings they may feel about themselves onto their partner.  The goal is to make the partner feel worse about themselves than they do.  The male partner that may choose to sleep with a hotter and younger woman from the perspective that he deserves better.  The woman that sleeps with a wealthier man because he has the potential to provide a better life and lifestyle.  In short, humiliation is the operative word.
  3. The Assertion of Power imposed onto a partner may be in the form of a passive-aggressive disposition such as a heterosexual partner deliberately engaging in a homosexual affair in which their partner is powerless and side-lined.  Statistically, more women than men do this because it is more socially acceptable because it plays into a fantasy for men to see two women sexually engaged.  The humiliation is that in many instances, the women exclude the men much like a child teasing another while eating an ice cream cone on a hot summer day.
  4. Selfishness is the main ingredient to cheating in general, because the act by its very nature is centric.  Most often the thought process of cheating begins with the person using the word “I” before anything else.  Some men and women justify this as self-preservation and therefore it is valued more than being with anyone else.  The mind-set is to go for the individual betterment of oneself. This betterment may take the form of having sex with a better partner to prove a point in respect to lifting low-self esteem, or embracing  someone that is more compassionate and understanding.  The real motivation of cheating with this form of selfishness is to attract an ally that agrees with their cause.
  5. Perpetuating Deceit or Pride in cheating. Cheating is like a drug addiction in many ways, because the loyalty is to the act of cheating in order to make the person feel better while protecting all of the components  to ensure that the lifestyle is sustained.  The one thing that any vice will do is make you defend it, then respect it, love it, and do anything involving risk to retain it.  Lies are the most common way to defend these venues and denial comes along as an accomplice.    Others may assume the role of a cheater with pride and therefore embrace the practice as a function much like using the bathroom or getting a good nights rest.  It is a normal function for them.

Even though, there are many other motivations for cheaters, these are the most common elements of the practice for both men and women.  And according to many studies, cheating is originated by the perception of one person in a relationship feeling either neglected or unfulfilled by his or her partner.  Boredom is the lamest excuse and the most often one used, especially by women when partners are not around.  Men also use this as well when it comes to viewing sex with their partner like chewing a piece of gum that has lost its flavor based on physical changes.  Cheating has existed throughout humanity based on carnal or emotional needs then mushroomed into other areas of codependency as initiatives to embrace the practice.

Do You Like Receiving Oral?

When it comes to women’s feelings about receiving oral sex, it’s a complicated discussion. Unlike men who, by and large, seem to love receiving oral sex under most, if not all circumstances, for women, it’s just not that simple. For us, there are many other factors that come into play — and the two big ones are skill and trust. If we’re not feeling secure, then for most of us, no matter how well our partner knows their way around a vagina, we’re just not going to be able to get that into it.

Then, of course, there are those situations where the person on the other end is clearly confused as to what is where and how to even handle our anatomy. That can make for an even more awkward situation, especially for women who are already feeling insecure about being in such a vulnerable position. It’s not easy to be spread eagle in front of someone else, and even those incommitted long-term relationships would sometimes rather do anything butthat.

We already know that some women hate cunnilingus and others love it, but we wanted to know why. Here’s what 11 Bustle readers had to say about receiving.

Thirst Discipline

Ladies, how many times have you posted a selfie on Instagram or Facebook and there has been this one guy that has to compliments you on every thing you do?  That guy is definitely the one to avoid at all cost because he is thirsty for you.  Why so? Can you imagine if he had access to you 24/7? You would get sick of the compliments and his talking so damn much.  Yes, ladies the thirst is real.  Now. these guys usually try to out-post other guys and will defend you even when you are clearly in the wrong.  A guy that is this weal will literally allow you to run all over him without a second thought.

Most of use ladies consider these guys as losers and at best they might get into the “Friend’s Zone” or remain unfriended on the account.  You should not get it twisted and diss every guy that tries to add you on a friend request, because there are some that are legit.  I used to look at this pics they would send placing their peni against 16 ounce cans and bottles.  We should tell them that is not impressive for sexy ladies that can get a man with one clothed photo.  A guy may be well-hung, but may not know how to use his tool.

Another cliché I see a lot is the guy that has the car in his photo.  It seems that if they do not have a big penis, a big ego would compensate, “Not!”  Guys, please quit asking to text us if you do not know how, there is a reason, “We don’t know you on social media!”  Save it sending those tired ass links of videos with you beating your manhood, because it is pitiful to be that lonely and unwanted that you are literally screwing your own hand.

The guy that gets noticed will be the gentleman that conducts himself that way and even though some of us ladies may lie to ourselves that stretch-marks, side-boobs, and back-fat is sexy, remember some of you pasted that it was and so we think we go it going on.  Most of us post on social media for attention as Jausan and Tommy Sotomayor say.  It is all about attention and nothing more, because this is the only place we can be admired without having some creep trying to feel up on us.

I personally love wearing my thong and tee-shirt on Facebook and watch guy put me in the pedestal, because I know I will always have a fool or two out there willing to pay my bills and buy me gifts if I so desire.  Sorry guys, it is true even though I could never bring myself to use a dude, I can say that some of the offers are tempting.  My advice to guys on social media is to be a man an share more than pics of your weak ass penis because I know yall get tired of seeing our fake or fat asses wearing booty-shorts, tatted-up and wearing yards of weave.  In any case keep trying and maybe some girl will give you some ass because they feel sorry for you, but not me.


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